Dripping of Uncertainty

I hate the way I live my life.

I am living by bounds that I have created for myself by myself. I guess I found myself being scared too much of reality that by the time I got here I banged into a big wall with a small sign saying 'if you can read this, you're too close'.

I feel so uncertain about many things in my life right now that I wanna have someone actually tell me that it's ok just to go one step up. Ridicilous to you, maybe. But, to me, it makes all the difference.

I once told my father after my ex had dumped me a long time back that I am not just too afraid that I won't find someone to hold my hand when I am walking down the long dark and lonely alley of my life. You know what he said to me? You'll find someone.

Somehow, I find that now very hard to believe..