Saturday, December 31, 2005

One Day...

Is the base of romance
Vindictive aspirations
Of a soul's chance

A chance to be
Who you're supposed to be
A chance to love
Hold nothing against, and believe

Rivers, dark side
Fight against the current and hold on tight

The uphill struggle
Walk upon the path of burnt up rubble

And all the trouble and sweat would have gone off one day
You'll find out that it's all worth that single image that will always stay

All for one moment in your life
To see her, looking at you, with a smile..

Friday, December 30, 2005

Listen to your mind

It seems generations don't seem to get the message that whatever we have right now is not eternal bliss. And that would imply itself onto the manner of behavior of youthful individuals nowadays.

I remember when our family and parents told us of the quite 'cruel' conditions they were forced to live in and how they were disciplined into becoming our fathers and mothers. And now, ourselves, we owe it to them to keep by those standards. But, as change does not go un-noticed; it affects as well. But to a certain limit. And it seems that that tide has now caught up with the new upcoming generation of the world with their bizarre behavior, radical fashion styles, and outspoken intimacy towards fellow colleague towards either sexes or - at their own descrition - otherwise.

Will the world, by the time we are gone off the face of this Earth, be so corrupted that nothing will stand in the way to stop the demonic actions that clouds over the lands these days as a shadow? Is the world coming to an end by this mysterious power offered by the examples of shows such as American Idol, Star Academy, and Superstar?

What are going to do?

A strong faith is the first thing that is needed to hold on to, that's what. Because we all know that change is somehow coming our way from the west. What matters though is that we take what is the good and leave the bad. Even though the bad may seem too good to lose out on.

Don't get in touch with what your heart says. Listen to your mind.


You'll have to excuse me for not blogging as much as usual these past few days and the coming ones, too because I have a nasty burning cough and one very bad cold.

I will be blogging, just not much. Until things get better with me.

Just thought I would post this in case you were all wondering where I am with my usual posts.

See you all around..

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Purpose and Passion

some people think that humanity is born as a good soul and not otherwise. and that his evil counterpart only looms over because of the experience that they gain. but if that were true then that would mean that all of us are evil beings as such with disregard of the experience that has been attained.

but that's not the truth at all.

the truth is that humanity is born on a birth given right to choose and that it is that choice that points them in the direction they wish to discover or are curious about.

we are given choices, ladies and gentlemen. and it is those choices that make us who we are today. even the mistakes that we make - no matter how big or small. they mould us into the person we become in the present.

so what is it then that drives us to our experiences apart from the choices, then? it is the passion for curiosity that lies within us to answer our questions that lie upon us waiting despretely for the saisfaction of the logical advancement in life.

but what happens when you passion and your purpose in life clash? which is it that you scrub out? and would you, were you in such a situation, give up your passion for your purpose in life?

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

My fault

I only have myself to blame to the position that I have come to. No one else is responsible for my actions (or nonactions rather) than me.

It is my fault that I have come to a halt of having no idea what to do next. It is my fault that I am unable to think beyond being able to cope with what I must do.

But this is all going to change.

All of it.

Starting very soon..

I promise

not in theweek - again?

It seems rather sad that when a publication such as theweek gives it's word to publish your work every fortnight it doesn't stick to it's word and instead gives excuses of different genres.

This is the second time my article doesn't get published nor am I informed about whether my article would have been or not published in the weekly gazette.

Last time this happened, there was the excuse of them not running it because they were burried up to their necks with managing the Oman2Day Best Restaurants Awards 2005. And because of that my article got published 3 weeks later instead of two weeks. Now it's the same thing all over again.

And this time it's being pushed further to one whole month.

I have no idea what to do in this case.. after all, they are doing me th favor of publishing my articles in their gazette every now and then. But tolerence of bad behavior towards clients has it's limits.

Monday, December 26, 2005

MY future is in MY hands

Wallowing world of self pity
The emptiness I feel is unquitting

Desperate measures in times of peril
The tide I go against until things are settled

The difference I make
The challenge I take
The future is my key to the door

Merry Christmas everybody...

...And a happy New Year's!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Cry Wolf

This picture was taken today at Al Madina Plaza in the Madinat Sultan Qaboos area in Muscat.

The fire hose had been used for something it was not created for. Some cleaner was using it to make the floor damp so he could mop it or something.

The purpose of the picture was to display how things of great importance are misused in situations they are not needed. But God forbid should a fire happen in that area and that hose doesn't work, there will be a demand for some answers.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Disturbing & Thought Provoking

Last night or the night before, I had stumbled upon a web blog that had a subtitle in inverted commas which read "There is no god". It was a basic mockery of all relegions. And I gathered this much from reading about it in the first few lines, that this person was an Aethiest.

Believe he may want to believe. And he has the right to do so, and no one in the world has the right to tell him to join one religion or another. He alone has to make up his mind.

But besides the issue of the quite disturbing image left by that subtitle of having a person not believe in a higher being than any created lifeform in this universe which basically takes into their hands the matters which none of us would ever be able to come to comprehend - therein the subtitle, lies a certain fault.

For if one is to believe that there is no God, then, truth to be told, how on Earth would they even acknowledge the name? Or perhaps the being itself, higher power or otherwise?

It is an improbable idea to think that there is no God. For anyone who denies such a truth is clearly more blind than a blind man himself.

The facts are all around, and you don't need a nuclear scientist to tell you this. The fact that there are mountains that hold the world's weight to such a balance. The sun and the moon setting and rising at different but precise times. Gravity is a fact too. All the beings on this Earth and any lifeform on other planets in solar system light years away, if any.

Denying the existence of God is like denying yourself the freedom to breath. You are choking yourself to death by merely stating the unsayable.

History has also shown us that throughout time, God has always helped mankind and His prophets Peace Be Upon Them in correcting the wickned nature that turns humanity against itself and into a vicious cycle of devestation.

Aethiesm as such is not freedom of will. It is a jail card with you behind the bars for eternity and the keys thrown away for good.

Don't indulge yourself by even thinking of the idea.


Some people in Oman think it is so cool to insult. That it is the 'in' thing. If you're not insulting or using insultive language in any context of conversation you have then you are definitely not cool.

I have to admit that I have had my share of this 'cool' period thing, but nothing like this. I used to swear a lot - regrettably. And I found it later on of complete and utter uselessness. You insult someone or something or some group of people - then what?

If you're crude enough to use that kind of language between your friends then you're just embaraassing yourself and your mates by showing what kind of a person you are. Someone who is clearly a psychopath.

I am sharing this all because it has come to my attention lately the wide reference and use of abusive language between younger teenagers, and adults between the age of 18-25 and from either sex.

One time you're sitting down having a nice chat and then all of a sudden you hear loud swear words from out of nowhere coming from a young boy's/girl's foul mouth. And all for what? To describe something? To say something? I am sure that kind of an idea would come out just as clear without the need to use harsh words.

The other day me and a friend of mine were sitting down enjoying the weather at, where else, but starbucks. And then came along a friend of my friend's. We sat down having a little chat from one topic to another and then all of a sudden this person starts using the worst kind of language that I had ever heard. It was totally atrocious. Something that I deeply regretted. I wanted to get up and leave. But it was my place and therefore if anyone is going to get up and leave it should have been him.

To say the least, it is the type of folk we go out with that describes the person which we are and what kind of attitude we have. That, and the environment that surrounds not only externally, but internally, like our families and how we behave and interact with each other.

There should be a short leash on anyone who uses foul language no matter what age group they could belong to. It is a matter of respect to one's self and to the others we gather around; loved ones or otherwise.

Friday, December 23, 2005


What are dreams? What are they consisted of? What are their purposes? And how do decypher their meanings?

This is a topic long due here but I only decided today to put it on since I only remembered today a few bad dreams I had some few days ago. And I have to tell you it scared the jeepers out of me.

So what are dreams? Are they a sign from God? Or are they premonitions? And how do we know what they mean? Something that really hurts the mind in thinking out what it is..

Is there a difference between good dreams and bad dreams besides the emotional effects we have? Is there a difference between dreams and dejavus?

I have stumbled upon more questions than answers in this specific topic..

If anyone has the answer - let me know..

OkCupid! Test

The Slow Dancer
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDm)

Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real are The Slow Dancer.

Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.

Your exact opposite:
The Hornivore

Random Brutal Sex Master
While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe

CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor or The Sonnet

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: LonelyWonderer

The Ludacricy of Competency

We all know what opening the market up would do to local merchandise, service and product distributors. It heats up the competetion and allows a fair chance of allowing those to force effect the 'jungle law' whereby the strongest stays alive whereas the weakest get either eaten up or thrown off the path of the economic freeway.

But it seems in Oman, that this is not the case. It's just another excuse to not move one inch or not prepare against such global ventures.

Example being (even though it is a very small example) when way back ago they used to stop the outside newspapers from being delivered into the market for fear that none of the Omani newspapers would ever get bought. Up to the point that they were delayed for sale one whole day. But this decision by the Ministry of Industry and Commerce, back then, was only applied to certain publications. Now the restrictions have been lifted because Omani newspapers got the headstart they needed to withstand the competition.

Another example is the online business - per say - of online telephony companies against local telecom companies. Here in the Gulf region, Etisalat and OmanTel had both banned in and out on serveral intervals the selling of internet telephone cards for companies such as Net2Phone or go beyond to restrict access to newbie phone company Skype for fear that no one would use their rather cheap telephone services. While they could have taken full advantage of the situation by introducing their telephone cards for sale through their (Etisalat and/or OmanTel) respective outlets or even offering their services through their sales branches.

The whole idea to competition isn't just to allow the consumer to roam freely upon the options and choices of more than one choice through the contenders, but it is also to free up the market from a monopoly situation, make prices cheaper, allow more value added services to come in, and spruce up the market with the heat wave of going through what each rival is offering prices, services, or otherwise.

It is still a lesson to be learnt here in Oman.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Does technology always help?

I had been advised by certain people to push up my chances in finding my 'soul-mate' in using technology to help me out. Namely; bluetooth.

I think it's not only wrong to play around with people with such devices that are capable of 'bluetoothing' but also very childish. Things which a person such as me and in my age should not be encouraging nor trying out.

Changing my location spot would probably help. My new job lookout could also help too. But this?

I don't think so.

What do you think?

An earlier poem

I had written this poem in my laptop a few weeks ago. Don't know when exactly. Thought I'd put it here for your entertainment.


The greatest thing you'll ever know is to love and be loved in return

She came in her own shy way
Smiling ever so beautifully
Hearts beating
Pulsating ever more fast

Hold the will to say something wrong
Stop the feelings from exploding within
Are we both destined?
Or is this all for fun?

Hour after hour
Not one feeling sour
Hearts speak
And the passion is devoured

She is the smile I miss
She is the hug I need
She is the love I seek
She is the one for me

Open the door
For sickness to come out
Fill the room
With the warmth of love and clear the doubt

Tingle in my blood
Twinkle her eyes, when not shut
Paradise is a bliss I favor to have
The closest I have come closest to it and probably the end

I wish I had the courage to say this to you
That it is you and only you
For these past months, not of few
I only think of you

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Putting things into perspective

An opportunity knocks on my door; a job offering for a company in the mobile business and it's neither Nawras nor Oman Mobile.

Think I might take it once I find the advertisement for it.

Maybe it will help me put things into perspective from another point of view that shows more advantages than disadvantages of the life that I lead.


And then we can start to walk through the valley of the greens as though they were never ever greener before. The life I lead, the false pretence, that I will lay below. Cast amongst the street, am I now. Soladirity, is a curse, not a gift, never to be handed out. Push out the boundary of reason and enjoy. The life you once dreamed of, will become reality and not just something of a coy..

What does happen when...?

This topic came alive suddenly when a group of good friends had gathered around today and talked away about almost anything and everything.

The question that triggered the topic was what would happen if you were to go against what was written for you in the timeline?

One of us said that it would make you go insane because you are doing what is not supposed to be done. Another said that it would be impossible to do that because what is written for you cannot be rebelled against in a matter of speaking. I, on the other hand, had my own theory ready, standing and waiting.

My theory was, even though you don't know what is written for you, there is always a chance for you to go against it by making your choice viable and clear. And that, in due course of time, you are changing what is written for you in the future.

Something of such small detail can cause so much difference in the near and distant future. Don't you think?

This whole arguement was based on The Prince of Perisa: The Two Thrones game. You just have to love this game. Really.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


"An improbable extravaganza.."

Not the same..

People are always nowadays mixing between the two terms despair and desperation. They think that they two of the same kind. That both of them are otherwise known as acts of negative output (input to others who recieve).

Despair happens when someone finds themselves or let's say imagines themselves in a situation that they clearly cannot get out of. Desperation, however, results in a momentary lapse of the unconcious mind which then controls the concious being within for a brief timely period that serves to bring out the energy bottled from the negative/positive energy being pumped into the mind.

In simpler terms, you could say that Despair could result to desperation. But the latter is not always because of the first.

The solution we find for such cases is keeping our sanity intact as much as possible by staying away from such factors that influence us to that certain behavior. Even though if it was of positive input.

This is just an adittion to my published article in last week's issue of theweek..

The Rebel Within

Barely anyone has noticed - not that I was looking for your attention - that I had gone offline for a good few days to clear my head of everything. And as striking as the idea is it hasn't stopped me from coming back, because I was intially thinking about quitting blogging and article writing altogether.

But then again, I had opened up the potential within me. What side would you take if you were caught between sitting in the same time zone and the whole universe revolving around you? I chose to awaken the rebellion within me. But thus, I have also awakened the demons that were locked inside behind a steel door in the depths of my soul. The ones who haunt my everynight dreams and think of days as their ghantly playground.

But I favor on. I choose to take this path because I know it is the right one. And as one friend had put it to me once, 'You have to face your demons one day or another'.

The flower on the grave
The night this day awakes
The soul that shines
The light it sheds in such divine

The power, the will
That I hold within me
The struggle of my soul
The reason that will come to be

Shoot on
Even with despair
Behavior of a warrior?
Or a man who is just scared?

That reason will come to be..

Friday, December 16, 2005

Logically Impended

Something in me wants to change so badly. I feel one day that it will explode up from within. And I can't keep hiding it anymore. I have to take some sort of action. Something. Anything.

Something within me wants to change my routine. Get a job. Forget the romance part.

Am I realizing myself or is it an act of desperation, I ask you? Because I wouldn't know at all.

I have never been in this situation before. I have been in many levels whereby I am taken down by my low self esteem to a dark and sinister place of my soul's ever lightening eclipse-like shadow.

Some of you will read this and will say to themselves 'where have I heard this before?'. Others will whisper amongst themselves 'well show us your actions to prove what you are feeling inside'. But before I do do that; I want to understand what is it that's pushing me to feel this way.

I'm not depressed. But neither am I happy. And all the common sense in the world seems to clash in tides within my head and I can't seem to figure out what's wrong and what's right.

I know what's right because it's right. And I know what's wrong because it's wrong. But for God sakes; what should I do?

What if I take this path and end up being a totally emotionless person in the end and do end up with no one at all and a job along with all the money that a wealthy man could ever ask for? And if I do take the other path, then how I would know that I would still be trapped in some sort of way in my emotions, my 'depression'-ional state and end up being - worst case scenario - divorced, a job that doesn't pay and homeless?

Of all the logic in the world, nothing seems to make sense to me anymore.

Nothing whatsoever..

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Public Announcement

To all those who had pre-ordered my books through email. I have failed to reach such a small goal and for that I apologize.

I do remember that I said to you all that I had sent them - fact is that I had them in their rightful envelopes and waiting for them to be mailed to your respectful addresses and I have had a little financial setback.

So I'm afraid that if you still would like to get a copy of the book then you would probably have to wait a little more - like maybe one more month little more..

Please forgive me..

New Paragraph With An Odd Line

I've changed my name
I've seen my fate
I've come to know
That my life to others is just a game

My heart in their hands
The advice I lend

The soul I feel inside
The willingess of my despair to shut out everyone and just die

People don't want to socialize anymore
They're there for the ultimate 'hardcore'

I don't see any reason why
Why I should keep going on like this and waste my time
It's time for a new change beginning tonight
The life I lived no longer exists - like a new paragraph with an odd line

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

The article and reviews..

You may or may not know this but my newest article was published this week in theweek, and it was about - believe it or not - about depression and how to get rid of it.

It's only been two days and one night and so far I have had some very good reviews on the topic that was discussed and everyone thought it was very well handled and saying that they were very 'touched' by it.

Thing is, though, this article had been written more than 3 weeks ago and only got published this week for a reason I know, and now that it has been published I don't feel the - for lack of a better word - the 'power' of the topic. And I hardly understand why everyone really liked it.

If you've read the article, and you felt this way, would you care to explain to me what it is this 'factor' that contributes to making my article a great one?

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

The routine change..

So after the comottion of the rain hurtling down on our area in Muscat, and having the fact present itself that it was it that woke me up from sleep today at 7:30am. Thus, I was unable to sleep afterwards.

So I did a few chores, and then sat at Starbucks to enjoy the weather.

Having had my mood changed was a great thing for me maybe because it was I read some Qur'an yesterday night before I went to sleep. Or maybe because it had rained early in the morning. All in all I was having a great day - and I still am.

Plus, coincidently, we had some Macaroni today for lunch (I know, none of you find that very interesting but I am getting to the point here) which reminded me of Allured's post of her making Pasta for her friends. Quite cool, really.

Although today was quite uneventful, it was to me rewarding after all the sad and gloomy days that I have been living. And all because I changed my routine slightly.

Maybe I should try doing that from now on..

Me and my imagination

It rained today (as if you all didn't know that).

And it was literally raining cats, dogs, and cows.

People were running for their lives for cover. A poor man died of a brain concusion because a cow fell on him while another lady suffered 1st level skin injuries caused by a cat scratching for freedom as it fell from the sky.

And the dogs. Oh my God, the dogs..

It was revolting. One second you could hear dumplings being thrown down like bombs on cars, trucks, and even baby prams and in another second you could hear from the far distant skies the answer to who let the dogs out.

It was a nightmare.

And this was all made up in my imagination.

Far out, huh?

Monday, December 12, 2005

Ok.. So there IS something to be talked about after all

Have you all read today's newspapers? My most beloved Oman Mobile has introduced an innovated game that has been developed by SQU students in an extravagent presentation at a local 5 star hotel.

What no one seems to notice that the game 'developed' by these students is almost just the same as a worlwide bestseller game called Prince of Perisa. The only difference with this is that the player takes the role of an Omani called Khalfan (typical Omani name), goes against some sort of mystical evil, and is in a race against time to rescue the Princess which resides in the top of a tall castle 'Husn'.

So not only is the game copied to the point that the similarity is obvious even to a toddler's eyes, but there is also the fact that there has been a clear copyright infringement violation.

So adding to it's values that Oman Mobile is uninnovative, it also steals ideas, and makes a total embrassment of itself when given the opportunity.

Where was the TRA with the launching of this 'new' game?



Omani Husn Adventures

Oman Mobile

The T.R.A. (Telecommunications Regulatory Authority)

Prince of Persia

Sunday, December 11, 2005


There's really nothing worth being talked about today

Nothing at all

Joke of the week

My article hadn't appeared in theweek last week's issue because the people behind the gazette were pretty much tied up with the 'enormous' amount of work on managing the Oman Best Restaurants Awards.

But I was promised that it would appear in this week's issue.

But that's not the issue, here.

The issue is that when I wrote that article it was about a topic which I am experiencing right now - depression; and how to deal with it.

Ironic, isn't it?


Anyone know where I can get a Superman t-shirt in Oman or otherwise?

Things I absolutely love (NOT!)

There a few things which I loathe in Oman. So many things. And many of them are just related to some internal issues that you have no hand in or possible have no idea about or perhaps even because the community's concious is over active.

Things like when you know someone, like a friend and they pass you by - you know them for so long - that they ignore you like you're not there.

Things like family relatives like uncles, aunts, nephews, cousins, neices and such that do the same thing with the worst cold shoulder that you would ever not want to encounter. And why? 'I didn't see you' - I'm sorry, do you need a telescope? 'I wasn't paying attention' - The dead could have heard me calling out.

You know what? If you don't want to bother yourself with saying hi to me then just say so. But don't make a stupid excuse about you not paying attention. I have the mind of an elephant. And I will see to it that you suffer the same cold shoulder you so graciously passed onto me that very same day.

I'm probably a blogger's most worst nightmare if you were to run into me. Because I speak truthfully and honestly. Sometimes out of irrational rage. Other times because I just speak the honest truth. Either way, it seems that people out there and bloggers alike do not like to hear what I have to say. Personally speaking, I think it's their loss. I only believe that you should treat people the way you would like to be treated back.

Take care, all..

Saturday, December 10, 2005

I'd really like to know..

I know a minor percentage of you post comments on my blog. While the majority enjoys reading it and passing by to another blog/website of their choice because they have nothing more to add to what has already been said.

Being that said.

I have a proposition for you guys/gals..

I'd like to know - and in all honesty - what you all think of my blog. Things that could be improved and things that should stay. Even the ideas behind the blog. Or perhaps the nature of the attitude of who writes behind the posts.

Anything you can think of related to this blog and all that is related to it.

Just tell me what you think.

Go ahead - blow me away..

It Doesn't Matter Anymore

It doesn't really matter anymore
It doesn't really matter to me anymore

The night glooms in
The sad talks float, not swim
And I'm lonely and on my own

What facts don't win
Memories canot be killed
I'm still on my own

Is fate just a reality?
Am I not to accomplish what I need?
So what is there to life?
If there's no 'u' beside 'i'?
And it doesn't matter anymore

This is the journey that I must make
These are my emotions that cannot be faked
The personal diary of my subconcious brain
The life I live to always give but never take
And it still doesn't matter
It still doesn't matter
No; it still doesn't matter anymore

And when you walk through that door
A part of you goes along
Don't tempt fate to take it all

Because by the time I wrote this
It's you who I still seem to miss
And I keep lying to myself when I say this;

That it doesn't matter anymore..

Fill Me In

Does having your life's material pleasures constitute as happiness?

How materialistic can things be is a standard we will live by no matter how much we try to sit by and think that we are not.

And by materialistic I do not mean the things we wear. But rather the many pleasures that life can offer in our future to come; money; lust (NOT love); and other 'wants' we can live without.

It is true that without these things we can live a pretty dull life.

But think of it this way; 'we eat to live but we do not live to eat'.

Thus the question is again, in your perspective; does having your life's material pleasures constitute as happiness?

Friday, December 09, 2005

Auto Immune Haemoletic Anemia

That's what I have.

In case you have been wondering like the rest of the world who has been asking me what sickness it is that prevents me from being a totally normal human being. And it's not A.I.D.S., for God's sake.

Please differentiate between the two.

What I have is basically that my Auto Immune system is overactive. And is working overtime on all fields. Which means that something in my body has triggered it to start this mechanism at which state it is killing friend and foe cells within. No matter what it is.

This leads it to also destroy my own red cells thus causing my Anemia.

I have had this case now for more than 8 years and I have learned to live with it and it's consequences. And up until now, everything is just going, well, let's just say that all is well.

But when I do end up sick, I throw up continously, lose weight rapidly, get high tempreture fevers (sometimes up to 40.5 celcius), lose of appetite, jaundice and lastly, fatigue.

None of those symptoms have visited me in the last 4 months, thank God. And I hope that this would be a permanent state - the one I live in, now.

There's no need or cause for alarm; what I have is not contagious nor can it contracted in any way whatsoever. Not even genetically.

If you'd like more information on this case, just ask me.

But don't come up to me and say that I have A.I.D.S. Because I don't.

Heaven and Earth

Do I despair?
Do I cry?
Do I trade in my soul for a happy life?
Do I create problems?
Do I create fear?
Just to become someone this world doesn't need?
Do I throw myself off a cliff or a tower?
Do I cry in in pain or have my thoughts devoured?
Do I throw myself at life's merciless' hands?
Do I ask the wind for one more chance?
Do I hold my heart and rip it out?
Do I take a knife and stab myself?
Do shout out from the top of my lungs?
Just to feel Heaven on this Earth?

Dripping of Uncertainty

I hate the way I live my life.

I am living by bounds that I have created for myself by myself. I guess I found myself being scared too much of reality that by the time I got here I banged into a big wall with a small sign saying 'if you can read this, you're too close'.

I feel so uncertain about many things in my life right now that I wanna have someone actually tell me that it's ok just to go one step up. Ridicilous to you, maybe. But, to me, it makes all the difference.

I once told my father after my ex had dumped me a long time back that I am not just too afraid that I won't find someone to hold my hand when I am walking down the long dark and lonely alley of my life. You know what he said to me? You'll find someone.

Somehow, I find that now very hard to believe..

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

A Mindless Fixation

So I have been depressed for a while now for obvious reasons.

And I have been feeling that my life means nothing without a purpose in it.

And I have had plenty of advice speaking to me about whether I should start looking for a job so I can earn my life's reputation a whole new meaning. And with that it will defintily work towards whether I will end up having a partner in life (and by partner I do mean female) and all that la di da about living happily ever after (without the cheesy music).

And by all measures, I don't think it's a matter of whereby you can just change overnight from being in one mood or not or one personality to another. It's just not that easy. But as a friend of mine has told me it's not impossible either; it's all in the mind.

So if you think whether you should need to live a more positive life, then you will have to focus your mental ability within your subconcious mind to be trained by your concious sector of the brain to give in to the fact that a depressed personality will get you nowhere and fast. And it could lead to dier consequences, too.

So I have taken that upon me to implement such a strategy. But it will be a difficult road I will walk.

I just hope by the end of it, there will be someone there to continue with me my lifetime's journey.


A smile from you is all I need
A smile from inside that goes so deep
A smile is a smile is your heart coloring the world in pink
A smile is your smile is just as angelic as thee

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

I Await..

Damn the frustration, the delusion in my mind
Born to solve an equation, impossible to defy

First held
First rope
First heard
First hope

The child, in my arms

Kept away, from harm

The smile it shows
Defiance in it's soul
The cry, the tear
The mother's happines, a father's fear

Damn the frustration in my mind
Why is it that it takes so much time?
Time to see how you give and take
Time to feel so that you may feel blessed

The feeling, fades
Your smile, I await..

ESO Bird Flu lecture - 10th December, 2005

There will be a lecture that will discuss the topic of Bird Flu at The American International School on December, 10th, 2005 at 7:30pm.

Hope to see you there..

How authentic is your blog?

Have you ever come to ask yourself the question of whether your blog is really of authentic origin? In a sense, is it's material all thought up or just conjured, mumbled and fumbled up?

It's an important question because it has dire implications on the person who posts on the blog. Psychologically speaking, of course.

If all the matter that is on your blog is of 'copied' origin then you are probably an outcast and come to the point that nothing you ever blog about is right (i.e.: doesn't seem right). And therefore you either continue in that path or face the ever falling wall of wisdom that will show you the need to go back revise and stop kidding yourself.

Its a matter of conscience, honesty with one's self.

So the question is here; can you be true to yourself?

Words of The Whispering Wind

Only the soul will guide my feet
Only the thinkers will think, cry and weep
Only the lonely flower of May
Will bloom and smile my way
Only the timid infants smile
To a grown old man, and show him life

I ponder, I wonder, I sleep
I think of the wonders that this world has in store for me
I sit all alone in the cold winter's day
Upon a table, by myself, wishing that something exciting would come my way
I look up, I see your smile
I look at you, and see an Angel in disguise
You come to me, in my perilled times
What would I do if I hadn't had you in my life?

I stop. I look around. I stare.
I blink my eyes a million times, and then I glare
I remember how this was all a dream
And how I am losing my sanity to thee
I stop upon every whispering wind and try to listen
The softening words that are ever forgiving
You are the world to me
You are the air I breath
You are everything to me


I have amended some changes to my blog having rethought my strategy in managing it altogether and have decided upon;

1) Disabling the word verification option because it seemed to much of a burden upon bloggers.

2) Allowing all individuals (including anonymous) who have comments to post their views on my blog.

I hope you will all find this to your satisfactory..

Monday, December 05, 2005

the story goes..

So I have another to admit.

This makes me laugh and wonder if man was made to be a confiding machine. I wonder if he will ever live up to expectations?

Besides that slight deviation from the topic at hand, here's what I am thinking about and going to probably to do within the next few weeks..

Seeing that I am at a point whereby I feel my lowest out of all my sickness seasons put together and feeling that I am doing nothing useful in this life of mine. I have decided to actually go out and try to get a life. Actually, rephrase that into make a life out of what I have.

Since my health has been semi-stable in the last few months that I have come out of hospital - thank God - and seeing that time is just passing me by with me doing nothing than my old routine of having to wake up late and do what I always do and repeating the same actions over and over again.

I feel like I have to prove to myself that I am worthy of my ultimate goal in life, which currently is to find me the right woman and finally get settled. That will never happen unless I have a stable job of mine. And since my health is doing good these days, now would be the right time to get up and say to the world that I am not afraid of what you throw in my face and that I would rather stand up in your gusty winds than sit and dwell over what I should be doing and not.

Because I know that would never get me anywhere.

Wish me luck, folks..

December Blues

I've got the December blues
I've known that ever since I finished high school

I got me a car to rattle my brain
I barely go beyond eighty eight

I think to myself oh whyyyyyy
Why is it that I feel like this inside?

Then the answer hits me in my face
I try to wipe it all away

Because I know hit a wrong tune
Since I got the December blues

What will we do without each other?

The role between men and women in Middle Eastern societies has forever been known for its view upon individuals who work upon similar mechanics and to the same goal.

Before a man and a woman can embark on their lifelong journey, there has to be some sort of mutual understanding that binds them together as a baseline in case anything does go wrong. In other words, if things do go wrong, then that would mean that everything would have to come back to square one.

But upon there lies another factor which plays a major role. Whose responsibility is it to make the relationship actually work? Is it the man's? Is it the woman's? Which one?

It is safe to say that although society looks to a woman and expects her to be the sole person repsonsible to bring up the children of tomorrow and to teach them about what they need to know about the life that lies ahead of them, that it is both that of a woman's and a man's responibility to make the relationship work.

It's not enough to stress about what men think about women and vice versa because it would lead to an endless arguement. And as such, both sexes aspire to their ambitions in life, whatever they may be. Some more than others, too.

But there individuals who agree to themselves that the need for a social life is not a worthy cause that stands in contest against that of a life of another individual that works for a noble cause like doctors, soldiers, and other related important and sensitive positions that are of need in the community to serve and protect the society within.

While some may hail this movement as a positive sign of maturity and deeper understanding of the life that we all need to live, others will take it negatively in a way that will undermine its purpose to the point whereby they don't realize the significance until may be later in life through a personal experience, for example.

So if that is the case with the growing population of the country that we live in, then it is no wonder that everyone (almost) is not thinking of getting involved unless these factors slightly fade away.

Which is a chance of a snowball surviving the torment inside mouth of Hell.

So what's the solution, then?

Sunday, December 04, 2005


A few days back there was a nasty earthquake that had occured in some part of Iran and the power that it thrust upon that region was so strong to the point that some citizens in Sharjah and Dubai of the United Arab Emirates had felt the aftershocks and fled out to the streets for fear of having to lose lives and homes.

Fortunately enough though, nothing happened there and everyone was urged to go back and resume their normal way of living.

Having said that, there has been this strong rumor (or perhaps pro-fact) that in the very near future there would be an earthquake that would happen in Dubai at a powerful 6.5 on the Reichter scale and that the Sultanate of Oman would one sure country that would feel the aftershocks.

Is it true or not? Should we treat this as a fact or a total hoax?

Either way, it should only push us further to the question of why it would happen in the UAE in the first place - specifically Dubai. Being that it and the countries around are all surrounded by ravid mountain weights which should be keeping the Earth above stable.

But Dubai is a an Emirate that is known for its red sand dunes, tall skyscrapers, and vivid imagery of futuristic geometry technology used in art of innovating newly built building such as the Burj Al Arab, and the upcoming tallest tower on the face of the Earth - the Dubai Tower.

There had been a similar incident in Taiwan where there was an earthquake 200 kms away from the place where Taibaih 101 - the current tallest building in the world is standing. There was a rigid study after the earthquake had happened to the building's foundations and structure. And it was found out that in order to hold the whole tower in it's place at its current standing height, then it should hold it's foundations further down into the Earth's crust. But, in this situation, the foundations were so deep, that it hit an ancient earthquake line that had not been disturbed for more than 43,000 years and that it could have been a possible trigger to the whole incident.

Just imagine if that was the case with the Dubai Tower.

Arrogance isn't exactly the type of behavior that I would say God would like to see grow inside a man's soul. Nor would He like to see His subject (being man, in this case) defy him by attempting to make a building that would literally kiss the sky.

I just hope I am wrong in all this..

How I have a problem with the whole freakin' world..

Yes I do.

I have issues with the whole damn world it really annoys me to the point of setting my head on fire and asking for all the damn water brigades in Oman to put it out before it takes me with it.

I mean it.

So far, I have had an arguement with someone on the phone because of difference of opinions. And another who I am trying as much as I can not to let something peculiar happen otherwise I would end up regretting it for the rest of my life and in the process, I am feeling very depressed (yes, I am there again), tired (because yesterday I went to the Sawadi beach for the whole day), and thirdly ...well, I can't remember that one. When I do I'll let you know.

Depressed because I got to a point of whereby - and this is really gonna sound silly - I was rummaging through my collection of DVD movies, PS2 games and found nothing of interest. The internet is getting too boring nowadays for me and I hardly stay online. And I still fond of the idea of getting involved with someone, who I don't know yet, for a lifetime commitment.

Tired - well, I explained that part, didn't I? Yeah I did. It was really nice and fun. We went to the Sawadi beach, had a BBQ there. Stayed in an online. Almost had a very big injury with the rocky beach there. Laughed the hell out of my depressed failure in life. Basically; we had a lot of fun.

But the more these days I want to stay alone. The more I realize that I am getting lonesome and need someone to actually understand me, talk to me, and such.

I have many friends. That much I can vouch for.

I have a life that is often eyed with jealousy by many because of my 'relaxed' lifestyle.

But I don't have a life..

Friday, December 02, 2005

Education? What education?

Is there a grammatical error in the education system in Oman? Are the educational institutes established in Oman really all about education? Or is just another scheme to get our hard-earned money?

In the last 10-12 years in Oman, the education system has established more 'leading' colleges and private universities than there were ever was during the whole 25 years of the Sultanate's renaissance. True, that that is a good sign that we are, as a business community, are realizing the importance of educating our youth to the fullest level of knowledge available worldwide. But are we really getting what we are paying for or is it a hit-and-run wild gimmick?

The Ministry of Higher Education in Oman constantly advertises annually in the local newspapers that although with the increasing number of educational institutes in Oman, it does not guranatee that all of their certificates are approved. In short, it's basically saying 'you're on your own'.

As the leader of the pack and a concrete base to get back to on whens, hows and whys of the higher educational era of Oman it has a moral responsibility to at least notify the students that are considering such educational establishments of which ones are and are not approved by their standard. Or it would at least hunt down those of which are not approved by their authority and shut them down.

Instead, it expects the public to do the work for themselves. Since it is as they say 'if it's your mouth to feed, then it is your need'.

And by what standard do they even go by? Do we even know? I was in a college once that almost ended up being eaten by angry parents because of two main reasons; 1) they changed their affiliate educational institute without informing the students or informing the proper authorities, and 2) the first establishment that it was affialited with was not approved by the Ministry of Higher Education and it had posted a notice in the local newspapers regarding this, but after many students had graduated from the educational programme.

Students seeking further higher education in Oman are in the increase every single year, and the economy can hardly take in more than 5% of the total graduates (and that's including the government and private sector). And as it is, not all these students have the ability to go for this option since their families barely live on the money their parents make from badly underpaid jobs or wellfare allowances from the Ministry of Social Affairs.

This is merely a small chunk of the problem here in Oman that needs some immediate, quick and responsive action.

Unfortunately; one hand does not clap..

Before I go on..

Before I go on with any more of my posts on this blog I would like to make one thing clear, here..

It has a good nine days since I have seen any of my 'fellow' bloggers post anything on my blog about any of my topics posts. That being said, I have decided to give you all the benefit of the doubt that perhaps you are all merely just reading what you see on my blog and then moving to other's blogs and commenting on theirs instead of mine. But if I find out that you are all somehow pissed off by one of my topics - such as the one that has been posted about my 'Smoking is not cool' article in theweek - then, all I can say is that it is a sad sad day when a blogger, such as I, who shows his true opinion about something that ridicilously being taken in as a deadly habit to be a daily behavior of some sort, to find that none of the public shares his same or maybe similar opinion.

If you're all doing that for that reason or another and haven't voiced your point-of-view on the subject, then, good riddens to you all.

With that being said - I continue my blog's life..

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Bloggers Beware!!!

It seems that with the many restrictions that telecommunication companies (meaning Internet service providers) in the Gulf countries that impaired our very freedom of speech by stopping many bloggers to get into their accounts Gulf-wide is on the verge of a very rapid spread.

First, it was the United Arab Emirates and Etisalat. God knows why, since I thought that the UAE has the most outspoken media in comprisom to the other Gulf states so what harm is it on the 'net?

Next, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia was hit like a flu. Restricting even access to other Arab bloggers' sites on the 'net.

Is, Oman next on the agenda? If so, what does that account to be in terms of a open-media political statement? And if it were to happen, what would other Omani bloggers do? Will they resume their usual norm of everyday life as usual? Or will they pester the authorities for their almost God-given rights? - 'I was born free, not a slave'.

What would your reaction be if OmanTel were to restrict access to your blog or other bloggers' sites?

Voice your opinion and comment here!

What is love?


Some people think of that one word and they think themselves in a pink paradise full of ever pleasing pleasures and romantic scenes and occasionly the odd palm trees in garden of Eden..

Why is it that we choose to escape of the actual realization of the word and what it represents? I am not being in the least bit gloomy but I am trying to focus on a realistic vizualsation.

Love isn't all about having your partner to hold you, hugging you, romancing you the nights away along with sweet devoted words of which were only born of a moment that had never been given birth to. Love is all that and more. It is about moral responsibilities about you and him/her. And how you face your responsiblities will decide on how the relationship between the two of you will go onto in the near and far future.

It is the idealism that our society and community along with it's environment that drives us to the impulsive behavior behind our wrong decisions on marrying or getting involved with the inappropriate person.

It's not a matter of how you two deal with each other in times to come. Nor is it the time that you spend on phone up until God knows when and laugh about later on because you would get in trouble since you're not the one whose paying the phone bill.

As we grow older in our limited life-span on this Earth, we grow fond to have someone by our side. And all too normal a behavior that is, too, it is. But there lies a problem. Whom do we choose? And what do we follow in our choices; our mind or our heart? An agonizing question especially if you're very fond of someone who you've had your eyes set on for quite some time.

Therefore, the fundamental idea behind finding the 'one true person' is not true. It is the process of having to find someone who fills our imperfections and us to them, the same. In simpler terms, you could make an equation out of it in this way: imperfect male + imperfect female = perfect couple = perfect relationship = perfect for each other

Love is basically an imbalance of hormone behavior that makes jittery, or feeling aqward around some person. And if that imbalance of horomonic behavior makes us feel nice and tingly inside we would rather have more of it than less. Thus, we pursue that person who drives us in that way. Resulting to which the ever inevitable mythical paraphrase 'I am so happy that I found the one'..