Forgive Me, God

Forgive me, dear God
For my bad thoughts to end my life
For thinking for a moment to give back the gift you had given me
Before it was due time

I picked up the knife and looked it both ways
I had tears in my eyes thinking how my life is miserable in so many ways
I wish I had a baseball bat but I didn't
So I wouldn't attempt to kill myself at that moment, that minute

Forgive me God for my vulnerable emotional nature
I am but a dying soul
Trying to dig a hole
In the wall of time
Trying to seek the truth out of a lie
Where it is hidden underneath the sands of time

But my attempts had all failed
And now I am in the sunlight window shade
Twirling this knife on my wrist - again and again
Thinking of where to start the slit so I can stop wishing the pain away

I was crying all the time
I've been dying this whole time inside
I no longer feel the love that I should
The fog that conceals my eyes
As I was about to start
The door opens up to my room with the knife hidden away
My parents come in to ask me if I'm okay
I say 'yeah', and they bid me the night away

Forgive me God