Sohar

This idea has been in my head for ages now because I was so damn bored with everything being repititive.

Tomorrow I leave for Sohar. Don't ask me why. I just wanna do it. And this time I will do it. Better than having to stay here in Muscat and do nothing at all and afterwards complain about it.

It'll be a nice drive. Don't know what time I'll be going but probably around 2pm onwards so when I am back in Muscat it would be around iftar time.

Maybe I'll take a few pics of my fellow bored inmates on the way (i.e.: goats in trucks)..

Wish me luck..

Hope I never come back..(ok, leave that to when I get married and stuff)

Stuck

Everything seems to be going down from here. Not easy down like nice and smooth. Uh-uh. Someone's turned the tables on me. And what's worse I am giving in to it. After being so cool and mellow for more than two weeks (I think). I am slipping again.

I'm trying to focus on the bright side of things here.

Let's see..

It's a new day (..yipee..)
I had a good sleep (...birthday whistles blowing with a yay!...)
Downloaded some old songs for The Corrs (What Can I Do & Forgiven, Not Forgotten)
Got me a Starbucks mug for free (now all I need is their apron)
And ... nothing else..

My God; life is so repititve.

Forever

What is a heart without it's soul?
What is a man's ultimate wish, dying young?
What is a mother's heart, without her only son?
What is forever, if there's no tomorrow?

What is my life without you?
When I could clearly just die, thinking of you
Constantly, repeatedly, saying your name
Heart pulsating, conciousness to regain

What is the death of a hero?
If not to conquer?
What is the life of passionate person?
Without the love he wishes for?

What is me, without you?
What is time, if not with you, but solitude?
What is lonliness? But a cancer
What are the nights and days I spend? But a disaster

Tell me why
Should I live my life
Without you?

If you keep on saying
That there are so many others
Better than you?

My eyes only seek you
And only you
They matter to me, not
You are my Angel, you are the truth

Red rose upon your window petal
I will wait here, for you, forever

Blood, Gore & Pain

For the last few days, I have been feeling quite depressed, even though that when I do go out I tend to forget whatever it is that is making me feel depressed.

Before that, also, I have had a condition whereby my nose bleeds heavily for no apparent reason accompanied by a throbbing sensation in my forehead, that, if touched, strikes utter pain.

I don't want to tell the doctor about this so I don't end up in the hospital again, nor do I want to tell my family about it either.

I just want to live a normal life.

Is that too much to ask for?

Saving is harder than it looks

Here's the short story version:

I called up the printers to know whether they had finished the job with my new book and the reply back was they had still not recieved a call from the Ministry of Information to acknowledge it. Talk about taking your own sweet time.

Then; I call up this college which I was supposed to register at for my Masters, and I was shocked over the phone to hear the news that registration had ceased a long time back and I distinctively remember that there was an advertisement for them in the local newspaper that said it wouldn't be until the 14th of October, 2005. What a bummer.

And since I had already passed out the chance to go with Gulf Air to take up the chance to continue my Masters. I would have to wait until next April (i.e.: 2006) to try my luck in registering, or find myself a part time job until then. Which doesn't have much of a prospect here in Oman.

This makes me seriously depressed..

For Eternity

If I could take my heart out
And send it to you
I would

If I could give up my last breath
Just so that you may live longer
I would

I broke the glass window, today
Thinking depressing thoughts, blood streaming out, like Mountain Dew

I wish
I wish
I wish I could talk to you
Make you listen
Make you see

How much is it
That it's you in my life, I need

I wish
I wish
I wish for you in my prayers
Asking God for your heart

I may live on
Without you
But the day I am in Heaven - I hope
Is the day I am, for eternity, with you

Why I'm a Virgo!

I saw this on WicKeD's blog and decided to sort of copy the method;

Do you know..?

Do you know..

... who I am when you go home?
... of me when you tuck yourself into bed and you're all alone?

Do you feel..

... your heart beat just thinking of who to reach out for?

Do you sense..

... the sea breeze blowing into your hair?
... the trees whispering in your name?

Do you tire of the world
As it goes by?
Do you find yourself all alone
Asking yourself 'why?'

Do you see the red rose
And wonderl just if
If someone were to just send it to you
Sealed with love's scent and the passion of a kiss?

Do you believe that time
Heals all wounds?
Do you believe that all this time..
..I've been thinking of you?

Do you know..?

Helping the helpless

I was in a confusion state today because I remembered a friend of mine who was hospitalized in the same ward as I was in a few months back and died of Lukiemia.

I was devestated back by the incident. And I still can't believe until this moment that he had passed away.

I want to take a look at different patients who deal with the issue of Blood Cancer like in the Royal Hospital or perhaps in SQU-H (Sultan Qaboos University - Hospital). Since they are the most properly equipped for such cases (as far as I know; if not, please correct me).

I want to be better informed about the cases here in Oman so I could possibly make some sort of essay about it and present it to the public to raise the awareness of the situation in the Sultanate.

People should know about such a thing. And moreso, they should be better equipped to tackle this issue if such a thing - God forbid - should ever happen to anyone they should know or perhaps their kin or friend or relative.

If anyone has any piece of information about this please contact me here or on my email: pennedthoughts@gmail.com.

Let's spread the message, people.

Help the helpless.

How sweet life would be

He would open his eyes to hers
A smile. A glimpse of those sunshine smiles.

Days go by and we are sad
Happy to do what we please; but with others, we just go mad

A red rose upon the window petal
A little note, too
The sweet scent of this freshly plucked rose
And a hand written 'I love you'

Do we feel sad because our dreams take us where we want to be?
And end up waking, sadly; to reality?

I'd rather make you happy and smile from all your heart
Than having to smile with your mask as you cry away in the lonely dark

Night comes and it comes to this
Goodnight. Lovers kiss.

May always dream of Heaven
Of the day that you have all your wishes come true
May you always feel blessed
This, my princess, is my heart as I lay it out for you

...Your Prince

RESPECT

There's a saying that's always been in my head and I tend to go by it word for word in my day to day life and it says; It is NICE to be IMPORTANT. But it is more IMPORTANT to be NICE.

Nice words. Too true.

But honestly speaking, how many people around you do you find that actually go by that with a similar idea?

My possible guess is none.

I go around in my rounds with my car and all I find is that it's just disrecpectful our society has been nowadays. Children and teens acting like the stuck up people they are because their parents are so & so and they own so & so companies and business or important positions in the Omani government (yes, the answer to your sudden question is: yes I do want to get into trouble for this post). Because let's face it. Their parents are in high positions because they realize the importance of such a thing and the responsibility needed to handle it. Key word being: responsible.

And what goes around comes around.

I sit today at a coffeeshop and someone I know who works there passes by me and I invite him over and we get chatting; then I catch a glimpse of some expatriate teenagers hanging around in a group with skimpy outfits. Skimpy. And I say to this guy how disrespectful they are knowing that Ramadhan is here and how they should show their respect to us natives so we can exchange the same to them and leave them be. And he's like why I should give a damn since they are free to make their own choice of what they want to wear. I told him that freedom doesn't mean to go beyong the limited boundaries especially in a Muslim ruled country. To change the subject I gave him an Arabic newspaper to read and asked him to do so. The guy literally threw the newspaper back into my arms and said "what am I going to do with this? I can't read that damn language".

My blood was boiling all day. I reported it to his big manager but asked him not to take any action on it because it was not in my intention to cut off someone's salary. Especially someone who doesn't understand the culture, my relegion nor the language behind it.

Just remember this where-ever you may go; respect is never given - it's earned.

------

this post has been edited due to a request from the coffeeshop's management

The lust of desire

Roses are red
Violets are blue
These few words I speak
Are created especially for you

You would dance through the fire
Of passion and love
The lust of desire
The grudge. The rush

Your pearly white blues
I drown into endlessly
The stars in the sky, the miniscure reflection of whats on the pool
I can only say that it draws me more near

I try to hold on to myself
Stop myself from letting go
Let the mind do the driving
Before I make an insane move

And there it was
It happened
Faster
Than a bolf of lightening

...the kiss
...the moonlight
...the red rose had been plucked
...the defenition of love has just been concieved

Hypocrites

I hate hypocrites. Period.

They're like nice and flattery all year round but when a time comes around like Ramadhan they're all of a sudden wearing a beard that looks like a car's airbag, saying astoghfor allah the moment some talks about something 'inappropriate'. And when all is said and done after the Holy month; their back to their old habits - googling women; switching on their bluetooth devices; putting their car stereos so loud that the entire neighborhood knows who it is with the windows down.

Seriously.

And even moreso when they go off to hotels and places that are near to bars that are closed down for the month to have a nice chat, listen to music, or some light singer (which is supposed to be prohibited, but a few hotels still provide it), and others just eat like there's no tomorrow.

I mean, if you want to be some kind of person - be that all your life. But don't give me two faces all of sudden because you think it's 'inappropriate'.

Want me to stop talking about this? Then I suggest you stop doing it.

Ramadhan Happenings

Well tomorrow has been anounced as the first day of Ramadhan. May we all be blessed by it and hope God would forgive all our past and current sins, inshallah.

I had been waiting for Ramadhan so that I would be able to fast and I was hoping that I would be able to, but my doctor has said that I won't be allowed to because I take day-to-day injections and need medicine just as much as I need to eat three meals a day. That's a total bummer.

But I am all hopes that next year I would be able to fast, inshallah. But this Ramadhan I will be joining a group of bloggers who will attempt to finish the Holy Qur'an during the holy month. I'm hoping it will have a positive affect on me, inshallah in many various ways. If you're interested in joining the group just click the button on the side bar titled 'we're reading. are you?'

Another thing that has just started with this month of forgiveness is the sight of adverts in the newspapers, magazines and gazettes on special offers from buffet extravaganzas to free minutes with your mobile operator. This completely ridicilous.

There should be a law against this type of advertisement that prohibits the use of Ramadhan as an advantage to get such offers and actually encouraging people to do the very things that we should be trying to contain ourselves from attempting.

Not that it affects me since I won't be fasting but what about the other 3 million people of Oman?

first step

Should I laugh or cry?

I don't know really..

sniff sniff sniff

I am in the theweek again with my debute article ...

Read about it in this week's issue of the theweek and let me know what you think

first impressions

a lot of people consider that first impressions are really damn important like when you meet someone you don't know, or when you go in for a job interview or something similar.

in most cases; that's true.

but otherwise, you're likely to establish a false first impression that would probably stick itself in your mind and at the end you make a total fool of yourself because you would find out that impression you made is so untrue.

why even bother to count impressions? why not just go on a day by day learning course about the other person? you're more likely to know things you wouldn't have had the chances to learn about if you had let the person go their way.

right?

thedecision

Over the past few days I have been jumping back and forth on the idea of me having to either do my MBA or get a job at Gulf Air.

And the case presented caused a lot of mental debate within me because on one hand I wanted so badly to have a job so I can start earning my own income instead of being a 27 year old shmuck who still lives at his parents home, taking monthly pocket money for his wage. And I still don't like the idea.

On the other hand, I also wanted to do my MBA so I can further develop my certification qualification from a B.A. (Hons) to an MBA in business administration. And I was already having a bad time with my past experience to stay in my previous jobs because everytime I started one I would fall sick and in the end resign to pursue health assurance. Not a pretty thing at all.

Some of you think that I should pursue the two together. Well, I would, but the thing is that either the MBA or a job would require full comittment from me and having either at the same time would cause an un-needed distraction and my energy to be droughted.

And since an MBA kind of gives you better options at choosing a career in the long term but a job is something that you could get kinda 'married to'. I have come to an important decision.

The pursuit of excellence is not merely a need but rather should be a habit.

That being said; I will be pursuing excellence through obtaining an MBA degree.

Anyone want to slap me?

what a day, what a day, what a day

I typed and I typed and I typed. I must have typed at least 150 words or more and erased the whole damn thing. It just didn't 'feel' right.

That damn article needs to be ready within a fortnight and I haven't a clue on what to write next about. Where's a muse when you need one, eh?

I also went to the ESO (Environmental Society Oman) presentation and it was quite interesting. I learnt that the Arabian Oryx and Turtles are not the only endangered species in Oman, but also the Houbara Bustard which lives in the southern region of the Sultanate. But you couldn't get clear data about the animal because there are no actual systematic data that are carried out. Therefore, you only rely on who hunts, breeds and possibly eats them on what they could inform you about this creature. Such a shame. I wonder if mankind was treated this way how would it feel? Makes think back to the old movie and its recent remake; Planet of the Apes.

My eyes are getting really burnt up by staring at this screen whilst I type, I best crash in since tomorrow (today actually, 'cause it's early early morning) I have a hospital check up. Although I think everything will turn out alright. Who knows, maybe this time I will have an Hgb level of 15 or more?

Some people I know need that blood. I sell 100 Rials to the pint. he he he he - kidding.

A Never Ending Quest

Yesterday night, after I had posted that really depressing post of mine on the blog and read NaBhAn's wonderful comment, I went off to dump all my depression on an old favorite movie of mine; The Moulin Rouge.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Freaky. Guy? Moulin Rouge? What gives?

I was seriously depressed because I had felt like I had gotten to a point of not getting anywhere and considered all options in front of me. And pulling out of the blog world - at that time - seemed like the only rational thing to do.

I have never felt so empty in my life. Never felt so alone.

And as I came back today, I saw my sister today with my neice (who is only 6 weeks old by the way), and I asked to hold her once and she agreed. And I am telling you, I don't know what came over me, I started singing to the kid and she was soon fast asleep. It's the first time that's ever happened with me. And my sisters were all like 'wowsers' - sort of. You know what I mean.

I felt really happy. Blessed, even.

I am trying as much as I can to live my life right now by trying to bring out my heart from the equation to balance it. In matter of speaking, I am trying to live compassionately, and not passionately. By mind and not impulse.

It's tough. And hard. But I am by no means a shallow person. I think deeply into things. And too often do I take hastey decisions that drive me to the wrong end. And I end up regretting it.

I realize that God has made every human being in this world we live in imperfect. But I find that in me there is more imperfection than all of the human kind which is why I demeane myself most of the time saying that I am not worthy of this or that.

I am a man driven by his hunger for passion
Unlike the many people of this world
To feel my heart beating
Isn't just what I need
Instead I must find my red rose

Flickville - Muscat, Oman

Hectic week beginning Saturday;

- Saturday; working on another article for the theweek. Evening; ESO lecture at Majan University College at 7pm.
- Sunday; hospital check-up.
- Monday; job interview with Gulf Air.
- Tuesday; check if my new book is ready - don't think it would be. My first article for theweek would be published.
- Wednesday; meeting up with a friend during 'lunch-time' for a chat and to get something. Evening; family gathering.
- Thursday; second family gathering during the week, though I doubt there will be one, to personal to explain.
Friday; kick back and relax.

Plus the fact that sometime during the week, there will be work going on to get my book's promotion in place, and time to work out, inshallah. Plus I would make my decision on whether to do a job or get my MBA.

Man. I need a rest just from proof-reading this.

Where's that Coke when you need it?

ps: Ramadhan Kareem in advance people. Don't be caught watching the TV, stuffing yourselves with food and googling at people during the month - do something productive.