Its not fun to live alone

Definitely a night for thinking.

It's been long since I have posted anything here and for a good reason, too. I have overcome my health problems and now I am set on a new mission (or two): getting a job; and - getting hitched. Whichever comes first.

Life seems to be all downhill from here especially after I have resolved my medical issues. But that's not the case. No way ho say. There are matters beyond my understanding that must be conquered too here.

I would still like to understand why people do the things they do. Why do women put men through such misery when its their heart they want to understand? I mean is it that hard to pull down your guard for a second? Or is it just a game to you?

I would still like to meet someone to have a nice chat with, understand, have a sip of tea at my favorite coffeeshop in the nice winter weather we are having now. But all I get is questions, lies, riddles, and often tell-tales of the past.

I have my mental problems, thank you very much.

27 is a large number when you think of it, and often agitates you if you let it as a friend of mine stated today. Which is somehow true. But if you come to think of it, 27 years since you were brough to the face of the Earth that you know now. Clouds have gone by. Skies have changes. Sunsets have set. Seagulls have pooped over your car endlessly over and over again whilst parking at the beach. People have gone and come. And most importantly: your life has changed immensly if not tremedously over the span of these years. And what a ride it has been.

But a few things remain unchanged in my life: I still have my family - intact, thank God. I'm still single - and I'm still told that I am lucky to be that way and to have my freedom than to be married but I beg to differ. And, this is the funniest part: the country which I live in hasn't changed quite that much in my lifetime - at least, not in my perspective.

But I wish I had someone in my life, yes. Even with all the misery that could come along the way. It's better than to have face the questionable lifetsyle that I have to deal with everyday.

Wish I could stop my mind from thinking these things but I can't because it just does. It thinks too darn loud.

Someone run me over, will ya?