To want - To have

I would like to continue. But I don't think I can. I think I am being pulled back by the negative side of my personality.

I would also like to pull-out. But I can't. There's something that keeps on nagging at me, yelling at me, dragging me away from that path - trying to tell me that its not mine and that I shouldn't tread it whatever the circumstances. That I must fight the fight. Remain King. Not to be overthrown. Not to be pulled down by limping burrows of thoughts within the mind's maze. To see it through to the sunlight.

But when sunlight is always a procurement of a happy dream then how can it be a part of reality?

Lying within a corner of darkness and fear. I lie there thinking to myself on the whens and whys. And how it is that I got to this point in time. And should I ever get beyond this wall of demand that overpowers my will, will there ever be enough for the future that it is to come?

Will there, still?

Leaving my Job?

So now I have this 9-5 regular job..

I barely get half an hour's break..

and I work 6 days of the week sometimes all of them

and I am still underpayed....and I am not keeping that number a secret - 400 with allowances without deduction to Ministry of Social Services which is now at 5% and then in 2 months time increases to 6.5%.

How does the government expect anyone to stay in their place if there's an increase in the in-take from their salary? This is ridicilous!

So what do you all think I should do? Stay? Leave? Or what?

I pray that your words of wisdom would shower upon my head..

Evanescence

Missing

Please, please forgive me
But I won't be home again
Maybe someday you'll look up
And barely concious you'll say to no one
Isn’t something missing

You won't cry for my absence, I know
You forgot me long ago
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so insignificant?
Isn’t someone missing me?

Even though I’m the sacrifice
You won't try for me, not now
Though I’d die to know you loved me
I’m all alone
Isn’t someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me
But I won’t be home again
I know what you do to yourself
I breathe deep and cry out
Isn’t something missing

Even though I’m the sacrifice
You won't try for me, not now
Though I’d die to know you loved me
I’m all alone
Isn’t someone missing me?

© 2004 Wind-Up Records

If they aren't the koolest band ever and if she isn't the best solo singer ever....then I don't know who is.

When you're listening to their songs - its as if you're entrapped by the words. And they take you in a vivid journey of images inviting you to see the story behind the song.

It also sometimes if not most - makes you depressed and feeling down.

But who said everything about life had to be nice and pink?

How OmanTel is fooling everyone - even the WTO

Remember everyone when Oman when was in it's initial talks with the the World Trade Organization to become a member - I do. One of the rules that were set upon the Omani government back then, in order to move forward with the talks, was to open up the telecom sector of the industry to privatization and liberalization through freedom of competition (i.e: to allow a second fixed line; mobile; and internet operator to be established and have a fair advantage of the untapped telecom growing profit potential).

Up until there, all WAS fair.

Until the first bid to compete against OmanTel/Oman Mobile was set up. Many international companies had fought fair and square to be able to be in that line of competition. Companies like Orange, Vodaphone, and Telekom Austria were all turned down to have the door wide open for TDC/Qtel consortuim. Wild card? Perhaps. But it has been to the benefit of the Omani population so far since the Qatari goverment has since then been in talkes with its Omani counterpart in opening up the door for Omani qualified individuals who are looking for opportunities outside of the country.

Now along the way, in the middle and end of this year, there will also be a publication of the second licenses by the Telecommunications Regulatory Authority (TRA) for fixed line communicatins and internet service providers.

OmanTel has its IPO all set and ready to be offered through the MSM due May or June of this year (2005). So things seem fine and dandy.

But wait, there's more.

Since TDC/Qtel's consortuim (Nawras) had won the second mobile phone license to be operated in the Sultanate of Oman, that means not only does Nawras telecom have to abide by the rules and regulations set by international laws which had been set by the WTO in the very beginning. But so does OmanTel/Oman Mobile.

What I mean to say is that OmanTel/Oman Mobile are playing a dirty game at this business of 'fair advantage' over each other's competitor.

Oman Mobile gets its funding in terms of capital and expenditure through OmanTel; and OmanTel gets ITS funding from the government through the Ministry of Telecommunications. Even though that both companies are both registered as private yet closed share companies in the commercial industry.

So how is that a company which gets its funding from the government goes against a private-owned company head-to-head?

If it means anything, it means that OmanTel and Oman Mobile are fooling everyone with this cover of private companies and that they should not be as such.

Where's the U-turn?

I understand that in order for someone to have a clear, transparent and basically good relationship that you would have to comprimise. Sometimes, you have to let go of a lot of things that you like and possibly love for someone who you're willing to spend your future with. That I can deal with - to an extent.

But when it comes down to rare phone calls, not seeing each other (actually, scratch that one out), no messaging through SMS, and when you do end up talking, you almost always end up wringing each other's necks, literally. And you just don't wanna talk to each other again until everything cools down to restart the whole cycle all over again. Now that's - dare I say - torture.

Is it wrong to hear from the person you love time and time again that they love you without having to remind them about it 24/7? Is it bad to be thinking about them over and over again, thinking what they're doing, what they're up to, whether they're thinking of you or not. It just doesn't add up.

I have been in previous relationships before which as an experience in general I am not too happy of. But the one thing that I miss and really miss is the romance. If there's no romance are you really in love? Or is your mind putting your heart on a leash until a certain time it would be ready? I don't know anymore.

Seriously.

Fate

Lady in red
Is dancing with me
Cheek to cheek
There's nobody here
It's just you and me
It's where I wanna be
And I hardly know you
This beauty by my side
I'll never forget
The way you look tonight
I'll never forget
The way you look tonight

Favorite of mine. When I am in the mood. Everyone has a mood. Most people more than some. Some: none at all. They just need a little oiling ...someone to spark them up. I can help myself but just write what is on my mind right now.

Sunlight dips over the horizon
Hand in hand in the winter's cold breeze
I feel your warmth, your love, your tender touch
But it is you, I am in need

Certain dreams fall in our minds
Our hands quivel at the mistakes that shrine the night
My eyes tear, my soul pleads
I have done my share of wrong, take away my life before the sun comes out to rise

It's just not right being alone. Not right at all. Why should you have everything and no one to share it with? Why should you have it all?

Beause fate has a surprise for you - that's why..

the story of me

She's a woman. She's writes her own diary. She gets a kick out of shopping with her dad. Annnnnnnnnnnnd - she's a doctor. If that ain't a kick in the pants, I wouldn't know what is. Mind you; I still don't. he he he.

I passed by her blog on muscati & OD's shared blog. She sounds like she has her issues. But every person has; without the consideration of the gender. We probably live by the code: I'll scrub yours, if you scrub mine, in a metaphorical sense.

But she is following the right track. She's just out there doing what she does best, and that's being herself.

Noors' is definitely the place to be to get into some hardcore reading into the life of a female and her understanding of life and how things in her perspective are.

All the best Noor.

This is the blog should you wanna visit it. Have fun and play safe: the story of me

Imperfection: What makes human beings perfect

We take a lot for granted these days. And don't say you don't because not one person in this world doesn't. Even I. But we are who we are. Even though we strive to change ourselves to become better at what we can be and what we want to be. We still lack the perfectionism style within us of which is left to God.

Too many of us whimper at the times of 'oh I could have done this' or 'I should have done that and this wouldn't have happened'. But know this: What you did wasn't exactly planned out for you as much as it was destined for you to happen. Fate only played a joyful game of tug-of-war with your mind and emotions to set the wheels rolling and there you were that day looking at that beggar coming your way again asking you, the very same you, for money. But in the last minute; turns away because she was foolish to remember you by the way you smiled at her only to remind the woman that you were here, yesterday.

Yesterday is a forgotten dream of what happened and what we have no power over to change. But we have the opportunity to make ourselves take the right path today into the future by not skewing into our soul's drool of desire but rather listening to the voice of reason of what we seem to very little listen to these days.

The next time you think of looking that way or in that direction. Think of the consequences.

There are consequences. Even for the most little things.

Have a happy day, people.

Anonymous: Away!

Following the few incidents on some of my friends' blogs, I have come to a decision to prohibit anonymous comments to be posted on this blog from this post on.

I apologize to the very few that do post and would rather keep their identity indisclosed; but this is for the good of the blog online community towards making it a cleaner post area.

Thank you for your co-operation!

Hi Ho. Hi Ho. It's Off To Work We Go..

Yes....this much time off the blog and you all though I was playing around and testing your reflexes (he he, it never worked either!) but here I am! And plus I have great news to share! I start work tomorrow! (That would be Monday: 11/4/2005 in your diary)..

Ah, yes...I think we are all off to a great and wonderful start...I just hope that things don't come to an abrupt ending like in the fairytails. After all, no one knows what lies in the future for them..eh?

Evidently, I would be working in the advertising section of the company. So good luck to me..there's a first time for everything.

No more Starbucks during the week and sulking and thinking and rambling on with great friends. Oh, speaking of Starbucks; their new beach road branch in Shatti Al Qurum is opening soon - hopefully by the 18th of April, 2005 - and they were asking me if I wanted to invite anyone to the soft opening along with me. So if you're interested, please let me know, I'll pass the message along and get you your invitation. They want as many people as possible to know about the place. I still haven't been able to drop by the place to check it out but I am told it's getting a different layout (i.e.: only sofa seating inside), better air-conditioning systems (i.e.: water streamers with coolants), and better security (i.e.: security alarms fixed to the glass to stop vandelors and anyone who thinks about robbing the remote place plus 24 hour security guard duty).

Life can be cool. Sometimes.

Take for instance, the nice sunny weather we are having here in Oman - not too hot, not too cold - just right. Although, you would expect people around you to take advantage of the situation but heck, not many people around in the country to take it since they're out of the country.

I call this 'Day - 1' - read: Day Minus One. Since it's the day before I start work at the new company. Let's hope this time things go my way, huh?

See you then.

Do you know an idiot?

A friend of mine had caught my attention one day when he mentioned these two websites on the 'net that have something to do with cars and the way people handle them on the road and while they're on the standstill.

Nothing new there, huh?

Well feast your eyes on this, then; the first of these two websites concentrates on crashes made by people who were either drunk or juvenile delinquents behind the wheel on beautiful exotic vehicles. The type only people with big dosh can afford. Check out wrecked exotics.

On another note, if you feel you have the urge to tell someone that you think their parking exceedingly sucks but you really don't know how to tell them, 'I Park Like An Idiot' just might help you out.

It doesn't seem to amaze me that people can come up with the simplest ideas for the worst problems that we handle these days. Never does. Never has.

This is Mo; otherwise known as Mo'atasim. We usually meet up at Starbucks once a week or whenever he can. I stuffed a bunny down his back just as a prank. It was funny - really! lol!

Fiddlesticks! Gimme bungey jumping ANYTIME..he he he

What goes up...

How high do you really wanna go? This picture is up from a height of 422 feet. How's that for feeling a little seasick?

This is a zoom out of the previous one...

And here's a close up...? Still not scared?

This is a new ride at a place called Cedar's Point. Care to take a dip?