'i will always try..'

i have a lot to say in my head but i don't know what it is or where else to start.

everytime i type a few sentences, i go back and delete them all over again that i just stop and think to myself: what am i doing exactly?

today; i ignored women who were - for lack of a better word - 'eyeballying' me because i have come to a final decision that; a) i don't have a job even if i were to gesture back that i am 'in' for it. b) my mind's made up that i don't want to find anyone anymore because i believe that i have passed the age whereby someone as old as me can get married. c) i know saying this might upset someone out there, but i will say anyway so i can be honest to myself - i still think about you.

i saw how much Oman is of a ghost country in this period because of eid, to the point that i didn't find anyone i knew anywhere. passed by city centre and saw the horrors; teenagers (boys), with longer hair than Michael Jackson and girls (not women) with so much make up on that you could compare them to Cher. why do they think that they need that much attention at that young an age? why can't they say to themselves that i am happy with what God has given me in blessings or otherwise? i mean, i am - even though i have an uncurable sickness. but, heck; you don't see me complaining - do you?

almost all the shops were closed up due to the festive period for Muslims. that's another thing that i don't get. they complain so much about not being able to make a business and yet they cannot stay open on that one day for business? i feel sorry for the folks who work at the banks, though. they deserve their vacation even though they may not get it because without the banks, how else is the financial world going to operate, right?

you may or may not have noticed this person who has been for the last few days posting irriatating posts on my blog. the person is thejustice who can be found on omanforum with his biast opinions and narrow mindedness that he dictates and thinks that the whole world revolves around him. fortunately enough, i have been able to delete every one of his sick comments after he posts them and i had also resolved to removing the shoutbox to stop him from making rude remarks about the blog. i hope that would be the last of him. but if needs be, i may need to turn back on un-annonymous posts and human verification codes. i am sorry but this is what i can do to stop people such as him from posting unwanted comments. please feel free to drop any suggestions as to how i can stop such people in the comments section.

last, but not least. as i said, not on my blog, though; 'i will always try'..