getting it off the chest

We only start to recover by pushing ourselves into further limits of toleration.

This is what I believe and this is what I am doing at this very time. I believe my sickness is because I don't do much and don't get around very often which is why I am pushing myself further and further beyond my limits to make sure that I don't get weaker to a point which I can't tolerate anything and return to the hospital bed again.

The same thing goes with the matters of the heart.

I know I am lonely as do I know that I am probably the least probable human being with a chance to be looked at twice (say what you want, me being pessimistic and all in that way) but I am pushing my sensitive feelings aside by trying to occupy my mind with other things of bigger importance such as this blog. Focusing my mind on the topics that I come up with on this blog pushes my mind away from pathetic nonescence about falling in love and feeling sad and lonely for myself because I have no one.

The only way to make yourself stronger is by pushing yourself further down memory lane and reminding yourself how things were far too painful for yourself and disregarding everything that could be a potential opportunity. That way you don't get broken hearted nor do you end up having high expectations of something that could have not been.

I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest.