Thursday, May 11, 2006

Defiance: Instinct of Survival

It's been a while since I have blogged a real post because of depressional woes. But then again, you can't taste the highs until you've been into the lows.

Work could not be more busier. Life is a bit more hectic and things just keep managing to catch up to you like you were some kind of magnet just waiting to come by and be caught at that particular moment.

The fundamentals of life isn't all about survival, but the will to survive it in so many methods that are uptaken - one of the best, yet at the same time, most gruesome ones, is the part of defiance.

Defiance is a quote we all say to ourselves on a certain day that we would challenge our limits to the borders and beyond to see where we can get to and having to achieve such a goal is probably the best achievement that someone could ever raise the stakes on their life, if ever.

When I was sick and was still in hospital, though. And this was when I first published my first book; Rapidly Blue, I kept getting told by friends, nurses, doctors and family that not only to go through such a rough period in my time at that period was it an achievement, but also to achieve being a poet at such a young age (i.e.: 24 years old). At the time, I didn't give much attention to the statement because I felt quite - humble, let's say - about the whole issue of publishing a book at that young an age.

What I am trying to get at is that the path that I took not only helped me in overcoming my difficult transitional stage from sickness to near perfection but also posed as a challenge to me and my skills and how I used them to see that I get to the next attainable goal in my life's stop-points.

And now that I go through these depressional woes from time to time I realize at how much I slue myself of desireables in life and the possibility of putting a smile on someone's face. It's not that I do it because I want to, but rather it's because I find that it's hard for me sometimes to just get too involved into life without having to share it with someone that cares about these things such as I apart from my overseas friends in several places around the globe. And had they not been in my life then it would have been a straight trip to that insanity 5 star of a hotel they got here in Oman with me choosing whether to go down the Rabbit hole or to stay in the gloomy reality that my mind revolves itself within (in case you're wondering; that's Matrix talk).

Bill Cosby once said in his best stand up comedy DVD that God has a sense of humor (and I believe He does, too). And this was brought up at the upbrining of the topic of giving birth to children. He said (Cosby, that is), that when a man and woman come together and start to wish for a child before they go into their physical interactment, that they always wish for a healthy child no matter what the sex the baby and stop at that because they 'believe' that being more specific in their wish would just be pushing it. And so, the father dreams of having a young boy to raise and carry his name to play American Football in the outfields and let shine the family name so he may one day be proud to say 'that's my boy right there, y'see?' And seeing that Heaven always has a sense of humor, it throws in a punchline, you can't always get what you want and for a reason, too. And so, a young girl is delivered into this world. Naturally, the father has to smile and gut it in because he understands the sense of humor that is brought upon him as a responsibility. The scene goes on from there, but having to actually put it all here would be just too long a dialouge, so you'll have to see it in Cosby's DVD 'Bill Cosby - Himself'. The message that is highlighted, though, is the most important of all. Because even though you may not get what you want right now, it is always said that you would get it much later in life or if you don't, then you are given it by multitudes in Heaven when you go over to the other side.

The chances of that happening?

Nobody has ever come back from the dead to report the result.

The journey doesn't end until the fat lady sings, eh?


h said...

What you think you create. What you feel you attract. What you imagine you become - Adele Basheer

Ella said...

I believe that if a person works hard in life, then they will be rewarded with the greatest gift they can ask for, it doesn’t necessarily have to be something big, but in the end, it’s worth it.
and ur blessed to be rewarded with your gift ... a young poet, with a published book ( or is it 2 ? :P )
Anyways... we just need to keep working hard, and the end result be it now or life after death, we will be granted with something well worth the wait!