me, myself, and I

I don't believe in horoscopes. In fact I believe that they are full of crap; but I end up reading them because I am just interested in what they have to say because coincidently they do hit the right spot. My horoscope once read something like 'Blame yourself. Then blame others. Reflect upon your actions. Then do the same unto others.'

What's so special about those few words?

The fact is that they pointed at one truth; I am a pessimist in the core. Something I cannot seem to change for the life of me even I try my best to act that everything's fine and dandy.

Some friends have suggested that I am at the tip of taking on my own life and that I need professional help. But then again; I would never hurt a fly, let alone myself. So that's scratched out.

Others have suggested that I try to look at my life from a positive point of view by socializing more; laughing and joking more; and in the end, being more of an optimistic. My attempt succeeded for a short period until my friends parted ways after having each gone their own way into business, life and marriage. So, basically, I am back at square one.

Other people I know had suggested busying myself with something like a job but that's sort of a closed-case because of obvious reasons.

All these factors considered, I still try to live my life in normal way by going out, meeting people I know and don't know, and trying to see any chance to actually make myself a positive input into the society so that I can one day get to the point whereby I can depend on myself and hopefully become independent.

Talk about your original 'sad story'..