Friday, February 16, 2007

Blind Man's Sorrow


I wish you all the fun, all the games
I wish you a smile even when it rains
I wish you would always have happiness even if it's not with me

I'd love to see you happy but never cry
I'd love for you to see how the sun shines in the high skies
I'd wish for you that the moonlight shines down on you throughout the night

For if I didn't exist in your life
It's only because it's not written for me
And not because I never tried enough
For you to see me

Although it kills me inside
To wake up to every day
And see myself wake up to the sight
Of me being alone without you smiling silently my way

Although it grips my heart
To the very soul
That I shall never win your heart
But shall always be endowed by your soul

I have wished over and over again
That I want to become a blind man
So that I wouldn't see you and suffer in pain
So that I wouldn't miss you and cause my heart so much vain
So that I wouldn't feel your presence and miss you tremendously like sunshine is missed on a cold winter's day

But that is never going to happen
I am faced with life's miserable laughter in my face
I am challenged by fate to see it any other way
The pain is excruciating; I can just die from the pain

I am in doubt of myself
I cry out in the dark silence
Where only the lost souls grieve me away
They weep the tears of the past
Cherish not, they talk back

But I am what I am
This, I must accept
You don't see it that way
You choose to frail away

And life's imagination mingles away
At another problem, in my direction, to sway

I am that blind man, today
Since you stole my heart, my soul; I cannot have back what you have taken away

6 comments:

dots.. said...

even if you were blind.. you might be able to see with your heart and feeling.. so don't be too optimistic that you can hide or ignore... at least that is what i think. :)

Sleepless In Muscat said...

DoTs...:

This long poem is not about being optimistic.

I think you should read it again

DoTs... said...

nope i didn't mean that it was about being "optimistic" per say.. at all ba3ad. :)

Sleepless In Muscat said...

Then what exactly did you mean?

DoTs... said...

you know when you feel pain in your heart that throbs so badly deep inside because of someone.. because you imainged yourself with that person and you built many many dreams on that actual "surrealist reality"?

you wake up one day to the painful reality of having to admit the fact that it was not meant to be.. yet you have to act like you wish them all the happiness for their happiness is what you care for.. you want to feel "OKAY" you want to believe that you are...

but truth hurts.. probably the most painful wound it creates..

its too painful we just wish we had no feelings.. and no senses and in some cases the "blind" people... why? because we are doing ourselves a favor.. we are trying to meditate our wounds.. trying to "not be in so much pain".. but again reality wakes you up to realize that its not so easy to be blind of certain issues.. that fact is a fact..


don't be optimistic that being blind would help you.. that was what i meant.. you can decide not to see the pain.. but you can still sense it.. smell it.. feel it.. suffer with it.. with a soul or without..

in case i still did not understand your words or what lyed between the lines of this "long" poem.... excuse me.. for i guess i am so "slow" these days.. :)

Sleepless In Muscat said...

Nope. You got it all there.

lol

:o)