Raw

I thought I would tell you what's on my mind
I was this close yesterday to taking my life
I had a notion to take an overdose and die

But then I stopped myself and told myself that that would be a cowardly thing to do
The people who love me won't pray for me, won't grave me, they'll be so angry they'll throw stones on my tomb

I then thought of you
I saw an image of you smiling
That gorgeous smile you have

And I was like
God. Oh, God.
I wish you were here because you would truly understand

I picked myself up from the pieces shattered on the carpet floor
The ones that I imagined myself making so I could rip apart my veins in case the pills didn't make the call

I stood up, head high
I had only one thing on my mind
You and only you, even if you never want me ever in your life

I would cut myself a break and start all over again
The pain I feel now will be gone someday
Because I will fight it with all the courage I have in my soul
'Cause I know, sometime, someday
That if I don't take care of it, it would eat me from the inside - raw

update: these are just conjured up words nothing more nothing less..