Friday, September 29, 2006

Seeking The Responsible Method

In the past days, there has been this thought that occupies my head ever since the last incident has happened; standing back on my own two feet. Owning up to the responsibility that will sooner or later come my way since - and, let's face it - this happens within the span of everyone's lifetime.

But this issue of responsibility is a brain-tie. Since on one hand, it depends on how the health issue would develop, mainly, that is. It's not easy being in such an easy situation. Everyone who knows me and sees me around Muscat with the people I hang out will probably have one thought on their mind; an easy-going, care-free person with no problems whatsoever; whatever they may be.

But that's just a front to keep the spirits up and to stop myself from dropping into a cycle of depression all over again.

The reason I raise this issue is not only because I would like to face the world face-to-face, but to be able to 'mark my territory'. In a sense, try to show the world that I am not the useless unworthy person they think I am, but more of a person who is able to face up to the daily challenges.

If you see me and ask me about this I would surely deny I ever wrote one word because I'd rather leave worries behind and face each day with a brand new smile, a new hope that this day would be worth living even though it may have it's mishaps.

I might smile away here and there
You might see my eyes twinkle away
I am just hoping that all this change
Would one day go away

I was told that this all would one day happen. Perhaps when I feel I am up to the responsibility. That just clicked.

I can't deny my feelings that I would like to see myself get married or engaged. But everytime I see that opportunity, I keep on coming back to the same question over and over again; what have I got to show for it? Because I am not in it for flirtatious purposes. I am not in it for the looks.

I guess I thought I should share this with you to see what you all thought.