There's got to be a point to all of this..

I know there's a point to all this but I can't put my finger on where it is.

Things are taking a different course in my life, it seems. Friends of mine just done have the time for me much more than they have for themselves and their relationships. I have a gorgeous cousin who is trying to avoid me everytime we 'bump' into each other and I on the other trying as much as I can to occupy my time with something to do so that I don't end up depressed contemplating on the how; when; why; what; and who. Because I know if I did then I would up a depressingly sad story for anyone to see.

So I applied for a few companies for a part time job and awaiting their replies. Part time is just a temporary solution until winter looms over safely to see how I handle it. In the meanwhile I am waiting for the right time to enter into a proper gym and get myself prepped up body wise - not something I like, but it seems to be the fashion these days.

Life's bitter past moments have taught me to take chances on the fly. Meaning taking them when you see them. And right now I have a good opportunity to become a better man and I am willing to take it. Only one step at a time, though. I don't like to be rushed. Unless I see a very valid reason to be.

But as much as I have planned out probably the next year that I have coming up for me, I still aim to win the heart of someone very special, very dear to me. And I don't know how to do it anymore now that all doors have been closed up in my face. Its not exactly that I chose that person. Its a matter that my heart had chosen her. I was asked to stop bothering her (in a matter of speaking); so I did. I was told in crystal clear imagery that there is nothing between us - and I got that, loud & clear.

As much as I am supressed by all these obstacles, I still believe that there still lies a light at the end of the tunnel if only I was given a chance. Nothing else.

I'll try not to make it a biggy. But hey, if you're just as much as a human being as I am, then you can hardly hold your heart's passion for true love as I am trying.

Can you?