the very life and existence of me

Have you ever felt that once in your life you need to take a stance upon a few standards or an issue or a matter about how something is done? Or by getting criticism for something you really want in your life that you would die for, that you don't care at all what kind of tales you hear about yourself because you believe so much in it?

I believe in something on which I cannot come to disclose here on the blog. And I very firmly believe in it to the point that I would give up my entire existence's being if it meant that I could have that for the spare time until something happens to me, one way or another.

I believe I am changed man because of something. And I get the frustration to deal with the issue almost everyday because I am so occupied day and night about it. And now I have some grey hairs to prove it.

There is also a believe that the issue has been resolved to the point that it no longer exists. And that subject at hand - undisclosed - has put away to the rot away in the shelves of the sands of time.

That is untrue.

What would you do if you were in my position, though?