a lie

There are times when you think that everything in your life is so bleak and that you can't even shine a candle on the situation you are in no matter how much you may try.

It is all in the mind.

We each have our own good and bad days. There are never any 'great' days for us. There is a day for us and a day against us. It pretty much depends on how you look at the glass. But most importantly, how you feel about yourself.

Are you confident enough?

That's a question I often ask myself all my life about any given situation.

Am I up to the responsibility? I am afraid of responsibility because I feel that I can never own up to it. But once I am set into motion about the matter, I get the hang of things and I move on forward as if there is nothing I can't do.

So, I guess in this case it's a matter of taking the first step.

And to be honest, I have taken the first step in many things in my life, some of them turned out to be great and others....well, not so great. But as I look back at them now, I think what a putz I used to be thinking like that and according to what was happening; I either feel a yearning or a whole in my soul.

Most of the time - I have to say - it's the latter.

And it still lingers within me for sometime, until I am given a wake up call by fate's slap on the back. Telling me that it's time to move on. To live life. To smile. To laugh. To cheer. To glow with enthusiasm.

But would that mean in the end, that I am lying to myself?