Wrong but right

Pistachios are not my thing. And neither is dried apricot juice. Never in my entire lifetime have I ever liked those two eatables.

But I never ever liked to be alone or to have my life full of psychological problems that least of all me would be dealing with, either. At the beginning of my life I had no physical problems whatsoever. Never fell in love. Never cheated. Never even smoked or take drugs. Later on, I started getting this weird disease that had suddenly manifested into my body and taken a toll on me and my entire life in all aspects; social; physical; emotional; working career, too.

Now it's been 8 years and I still have that problem. But I have gotten accustomed to it. But I face another problem. I face the world in front of me. Asking me what is that I can give?

And I also found myself wondering endless times. When is it when I will finally be able to walk down a long road? Hand in hand with the one I am supposed to spend my lifetime with? The one who will understand me, and help me become a better man in my entirety? I became so obsessed with the idea that it grew onto me. I started convincing myself, that my life without a woman - and not just any woman - by my side, isn't a life at all. And believe me when I say, that I still believe that.

But later on in my life - like now - I am beginning to get more and more convinced by the idea that sulking down on the who, what, when, why, and where will lead to no-where and fast. I began to become lately convinced, too, that if I have my head down all the time being depressed and all, then not only would I become mentally unstable but I would also pass out on the many chances that would come my way. No matter how small they would be.

So here's a pledge from me to God.

Inshallah, from now on, I will be a better man, looking (mostly) at the positive side of life. Changing what could turn out wrong to become right.