Monday, October 02, 2006

Change

I feel so content for some reason.

Like I have so many things on my mind to say and erupting but they remain entact. I feel like I want to shout out with joy yet at the same time I feel that I need to be sad at the same time and serious. Not that I am not a fun-loving guy, that is.

The mother of all paradoxes?

Perhaps.

What is helping me to stay content is the fact that I meet up with my friends almost every night. And that we share our laughs, our small serious discussions. But again, I stumble upon things in my mind that I feel I cannot share with anyone at all. Again, for some mysterious reason.

Am I going back to being depressed? I hardly think so, otherwise I would be really sad in the dumps.

No. Far from it. And even if I was, I would fight it.

If patients can miraculously save themselves from fatal diseases such as Cancer, then what's to stop me from shaking myself from a depression state?

I am planning - to change the routine that I am going through - to look for something that I can do in the meantime until I gain full health back. Something like a past-time job or course. And I have a few ideas already in my head.

Maybe that's all I need right now; change.

2 comments:

bluewaves said...

I alwayz welcome changes in my life, make u feel dat u r still alive.
Instead of u r living dat same rigid routine, watz da life u r feeling then, none sa7!
Its like ur dead body but breathing :)

Sleepless In Muscat said...

as Ella has it stated on her blog 'Apathy'; all growth is not change ... or something