The half full/ half empty glass of water

There has always been this theory that analyzes a person's psychological nature. It reveals how a person looks towards their life and what type of personality they hold within.

Asked to look at glass half full/half empty of water, the person is then asked to reply back how they percieve it to be in their eyes.

What's the difference?

If the person were to reply back that the glass is half full of water then it shows that they look at their life from a brighter perspective and broader horizon. Thus, showing they hold a positive nature of personality.

But, however, if the person were to say that the glass is half empty, then it shows completely the contrary. That that person not only looks at their life from a negative point of view, but also they could be manifesting a serious depression which is growing within the very depths of their inner serlves. Pointing out to a fellow psyhiatrist whether this person may need help to get over whatever that it is pinning them to the floor.

How would you see a half glass of water?

Tagged by Jawaher..

Seven things I plan to do:

1- Try to get my book finished before Eid.

2- Get a part-time job.

3- Get that small Sony digital mp3 walkman.

4- Become more healty by toning up my body through work-out.

5- Get ADSL before the offer runs out.

6- Learn how to write better and more professionally.

7- Eventually give up writing poetry


Seven things I can do:

1- Give good advice.

2- Listen to good quality music.

3- Make people laugh silly.

4- Create a good fung-shui based layout for furniture.

5- Make friendships somewhat easily.

6- Be focused when I want to really do something.

7- Eat one whole large pizza!


Seven things I can't do:

1- Be hypocritical.

2- Convince myself to do something that I don't believe in or don't understand fully.

3- Give proper directions to a place without having to be at the place ;oP .

4- Be happy most of the time.

5- Do HTML programming.

6- Confront someone even when it's my right.

7- Stand rude and abnoxious people where-ever and who-ever they are.


Seven things I say most often:

1- Wallah?

2- You're not serious?

3- Damn!

4- [censored]

5- [censored]

6- Holy cow!

7- Cool!

Seven people I would like to tag:

1- Nash

2- Nomaadic

3- Twisted

4- Najah

5- Allured

6- Noors

7- Saud

Inner Child

Your Inner Child Is Sad

You're a very sensitive soul. You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have. Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone. You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Pitter, Patter

Pitter, patter on the watery lane
Pitter, patter, feet flying away

A brief look
A close eye
The fear it stings you with
Is no lie

Pitter, patter on the water lane
Cold, cold, someone hand me a blanket, please

Pitter, patter under the rain
Under the thundery sky
Lightning in my eyes
Do I scream? I keep running away

A look to the left
Forest greens
A look to the right
Open free

Pitter, patter do my feet take me
Pitter, patter, under this tree, will I protect me

Pitter, patter rain
Somebody, anybody, help me

Cry alone
Cry under the rain
Crying for someone
To hold my hand and say

'Cry not
Courage, lose not
Valor in thy heart
Hold thou thought, and light thou spark'

Pitter, patter
I hold no shame
Pitter, patter
I run no longer; I will have my day

The GoogleShmingle

I was going to write this as an article in the theweek, but decided against it because I didn't have enough information and I didn't have that much of a passion to write in the subject, either.

So what is the GoogleShmingle?

Basically, the idea rotates around privacy issues and the intrusion of our space, digitally, in cyberspace.

Google has raised many eyebrows considering all its new software developments lately (i.e.: Google Talk, Google Secure Access Client, etc.) that everyone in the IT industry is actually wondering why is a small time company that began as an exceptional email provider (i.e: Gmail) interested into broadening its horizon into software development for the internet? What is the catch that we're missing?

Many experts have also come to the conclusion that Google is out to know where we go by tracing our 'net footprints through the cookies it uses to operate its software. Its an intelligent development in such a field, and most probably true. And Google is just one of the companies that disrespects issues of privacy the world over.

Local examples are OmanTel through both Oman Mobile and Oman 'Net. By sending unwanted messages to your email box and your mobile phone. Junk mail provided by spammers get through the OmanTel proxy no matter if they're just filled with junk subjects such as investment opportunities, medication, porn but the worst kind is that of the seriously damaging type on your own PC; trojan viruses.

OmanTel has barely moved a muscle with such complaints by their clients about these important issues in exception to the memoir it leaves on its webpage warning users not to register with online services saying that they are the cause. Even if that were the case, that is no excuse for them to sit down and wait for it happen but rather provide a means to protect users from this online abusive manner by updating their spam killing software for their own software just as much as they provide the automatic filter for pornographic content on the internet.

When will OmanTel ever learn that its not the quantity of services you provide to your clients but rather the quality of it and customer care?

6am

Have you ever sat up until like 6 o'clock in the morning and walked a bit outside?

You would notice that not only is the whole place quite, but you can also hear the faintest sound; your heart beat. Not even crickets are up at that time. They'd still be dreaming of grassier sides of the planet to move on to.

Try taking a long long walk down that narrow long dark lonely road. Believe me when I say you would feel refreshed.

I have done that more than once.

Why? Because I feel - and I know this is the wrong word to be using but it's the only word I can come up with - so sensual. It gives you a feeling of love. You'd have to experience it to know what I am trying to say.

And when I say 'taking a walk', I don't mean driving around inside your car. No. Get out, and literally, do the walking part.

Just try it. Let me know afterwards how you feel..

Suppose

Suppose we weren't alive to live this moment right now.
What would you do to clear up that view between the clouds?

Suppose that life was never like this.
Suppose that everybody was happy and at abliss.
Would you think of going back?
Would you think of changing it?

We live life everyday
To regret the very next day
Wishing we had done this or that
Or done what we had done in the past

The past may have gone on
But in our minds, it is never forgotten

I ask for a chance
I only want to understand

But then I only want a few other things
Some call it being too demanding

If that's the case
Then don't go behind my back, say it to my face

I only want to walk the lonely road with you
Hand in hand, not in solitude
Faces blush, not in gloom
Heart pulses racing
Adventure in the future, for us, awaits

And believe me when I say
I will always love you no matter what people may say

Desperate times calls for ...

the3rdarticle

my new article should be published the coming week, people..

don't forget to read it and let me know what you all think about it..

thanks..

update: just in case you are unable to get your copy of theweek, there is also the option of downloading the gazette online from here.

Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones

The third and final installment of the the Prince of Persia legacy is underway to be launched in December, 2005 on all available games consoles.

Ubisoft has done a maginificent job of resurrecting the game from under the cracks of old formats ever since the game was launched back in the 80's with basic game tactics, naggy music, and simple, yet difficultly enough learned, techniques, to win over the level bosses.

The Ubisoft version game debuted with the release of the Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. Where the prince accidently unleashes the sands of time therefore releasing the curse upon his own kingdom people, especially his father. Filled with remorse, regret and desperation to undo what has been done, he is backed by beautiful princess of a Mahraja who had been captured in a raid earlier on. All to the dismay of his father's ex-vizir who wants total control over the sands of time and the key to it - the dagger of time.

Moving on to the sequel of the hit game; Ubisoft released the Prince of Persia: Warrior Within. Much to the dislike of the many fans captured by the debut games' power within the Arabesque featurettes such as caliagraphy; modern artistry, and music, the company decided to bend the story from the point it left the gamers at to a more darker and sinister conflict. Having undone his mistake and putting things in order, the prince inevertably played around with the time factor thus putting a price on his own head; his death by the hands of the Dahaka - the guradian of the timeline. His bet this time is to go back into time and stop the sands of time ever being created, meaning which he will have to go against the empress of time and her sand warrior minions.

The sequel to the Sands of Time also featured an alternative ending, to which Ubisoft chose to take upon the continoum of the series, namely; Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones. Since the prince has gone back in time, managed to escape from the Dahaka, thus leaving the mythical Island of Time, previous home of the empress, and bringing her back to his homeland; Babylon, he finds things are not what they used to be, not even him. No sooner does the pair dock in the port, than are they imprisoned in the palace by an unknown evil enemy whose only desire is 'retrieve what is truly his'. The prince finally manages to escape from the clutches of the dungeons and gets out on the streets of the city but not before he learns of the death of the empress, thus, unleashing again the sands of time. Angered, disputed of what is right and wrong. He finally chooses to put things right once and for all. But as he combats throughout the game, he learns that as he progresses on with his final quest, he is being slowly captivated by the sands of time himself, giving way to a more evil and darker prince to surface and take over his body.

You would have to play the game to understand the story behind it, emersing yourself with every character, every emotion, every choice of action you take. And knowing that even though you may control time with your bare hands, that that is not enough to change your fate.

And as the old man in the game would state; 'You cannot change your fate. No man can'.

Damn vicious cycle

Things happen to those who wait. Right?

If that's the case, then none of us would get off our behinds to move on with our lives but rather stay home lazing about what to watch, who to talk to on the phone, or what to do on the 'net.

And sometimes it does make sense.

I mean, seriously. It's been Ramadhan for what; 3 weeks now? And I haven't pulled myself out of bed in the morning to do anything except for a handful of times to do some minor errands, otherwise I have been sleeping all the way 'til it's like 2:30pm in the afternoon and then start my day.

'Cause let's face it, if you're on some sort of holiday then what is the point of getting up when there's nowhere to go and nothing to do in broad daylight. That's why I see myself going to the same place at night do the same damn thing, thinking of how I will ever live life this way in the future, should God want to prolong my age.

But then again; should He?

crying in the dark

By the shower of a stream
I wait for you, in my dream

A red rose in my hand
A moment; the future? Or a mere glance?

Fogged by my own shadow
Turned inside out, don't know where to go

Cry, cry, cry on my own
I lie to myself
Saying it'll be ok
But as night looms; I gloom on

Tearing my heart
Piece by piece
There's no place for emotions in my life
Or in my dreams

Surrower's path
Fate stands back and laughs

And God looks down on me
Saying 'What a pitty'

The enchanted device
The mind's delight
Created to know
What's wrong from right

This where I am
Because of what I have in my past

Relieve the hunger
Passion goes yonder

And all to an end
None to this man's best

Forgive me, for this how I feel
This is who I am; this is who I always be

Garnished flower
Torns to parts
Go home
And cry alone in the dark

Destiny's Fool

Yesterday night, after I had posted that really depressing post of mine on the blog and read NaBhAn's wonderful comment, I went off to dump all my depression on an old favorite movie of mine; The Moulin Rouge.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Freaky. Guy? Moulin Rouge? What gives?

I was seriously depressed because I had felt like I had gotten to a point of not getting anywhere and considered all options in front of me. And pulling out of the blog world - at that time - seemed like the only rational thing to do.

I have never felt so empty in my life. Never felt so alone.

And as I came back today, I saw my sister today with my neice (who is only 6 weeks old by the way), and I asked to hold her once and she agreed. And I am telling you, I don't know what came over me, I started singing to the kid and she was soon fast asleep. It's the first time that's ever happened with me. And my sisters were all like 'wowsers' - sort of. You know what I mean.

I felt really happy. Blessed, even.

I am trying as much as I can to live my life right now by trying to bring out my heart from the equation to balance it. In matter of speaking, I am trying to live compassionately, and not passionately. By mind and not impulse.

It's tough. And hard. But I am by no means a shallow person. I think deeply into things. And too often do I take hastey decisions that drive me to the wrong end. And I end up regretting it.

I realize that God has made every human being in this world we live in imperfect. But I find that in me there is more imperfection than all of the human kind which is why I demeane myself most of the time saying that I am not worthy of this or that.

I am a man driven by his hunger for passion
Unlike the many people of this world
To feel my heart beating
Isn't just what I need
Instead I must find my red rose

Forgotten Heart

The shadows grieve at my loss
The sun looms over from clouds beyond view
Few have gone down this road
And, yet, fear has touched us few

Smouldering heart
Stop your beating
Stop acting on your lifely impulses
Stay on focus

Strange I am
Strange I may always be
Weird I am
But that's just me

Withered flower upon window petal
Gushed away by past pretences
Take my heart with you
And just let me be emotionless

Anything's possible

I know I have said this like maybe a gazillion times before. And at times I wish I had taken that decision and gotten rid of the headache that I have right now..

Some of you are thinking - 'oh, here he goes again with that old broken record'. Maybe so. But if that's the case, why do you come here to read what's on this blog in the first place?

Anyhow.

Without further delay, I am thinking of taking up Kaza's way out of the blog world.

Permanently..

I mean, I hate myself right now so much for going through the same ideas inside my over and over and over again. I hate it all. I really do.

And it really hurts.

So thank you all for your 'concern'. I'll let you know if I ever wish to live my life in a pleaseable manner.

...whatever





..The End of The Line..

The Day it Rained Blood

So, let me get this straight:

I'm not eligable to be a woman's guy because I am unemployed. But they would still look for a man in their own way. And in case they did find him somewhere, someday, then they wouldn't - in a million years - give him one hint. Therefore, he's still stuck in square one.

Am I right?

So if the entire population was on that track, as am I, then none of us would ever get married. Even though they have the desire to be.

A woman's mentality is so complicated some, if not, all the time. It's like taking yourself into this game of a maze whereby you don't yourself the outcome and you're still playing it along the way trying to figure out what it is she is up to. And there are those who give you this indifenite answer that they're totally uninterested but (and this could be just me) their actions say otherwise. And it drives you absolutely bananas! Milkshakes even!

Why am I killing myself with all this talk and thinking about when, who, what, where, and why? Why? Why? Why?

I'm not depressed.

I'm just thinking out loud.

Blogging is caring..

So I finally got off my ass and went to the hospital today. Did everything everyone's been pestering me about.

Turns out I am fine and dandy. Nothing's wrong with me at all. My Hgb level is stable after 3 months at 13.4. The reason why I am bleeding so easily these days - according to the doctor - is because of an injection I take every alternate day which is called Deltaparine Sodium. Basically, what it does is make the blood more liquified so even if you have a minor scratch that's near a blood vessel then you could easily bleed for a little longer than usual - though, nothing to worry about either.

And I had to take in that horrible sour milk contrast before I went in for the CT scan. Yughh. If I ever find out the name of the person who invented that stuff. I'll murder him.

Apart from that, I am A.OK.

So, on with the show, huh?

Push Up or Shut Up

She'd walk in
Look at me
And smile

Her smile
Would wake my heart
From the gloom I live in, into the light

Pitty she doesn't want me
She doesn't think of me

I keep telling myself that there's no way
For this to end in happiness in any case

So why do I drag myself in even more?
Why do I find it so hard to understand the truth that's going on?

And when she leaves
I wait until the next day
Perhaps we will meet
Perhaps we will have something else to share

And all I ever want her to be
Is just to see her in the way she always is; so happy
Smiling freely
Like she always is whenever I see her on any day

Wishful thinking of the heart
Not having the courage to say this to her face, is the saddest part

------
one song comes to mind: Just An Illusion by Imagination

The Nine Lives Theory..

A man gets sick gets better and is given a new life. Giving him a new chance to redeem his mistakes in his past life. Thus, the nine lives theory.

Why is it called so? Its based on the cat's myth that it survives deaths only to be resurrected to enjoy a new life of sardines and rats. True, that human beings don't share the common eating habits or the luxury to be resurrected so many times in one lifetime, but nonetheless, this one theory I have come up with (no signatures, please) is one of great value.

Not just physically expanding, but mentally invogarating. Seriously speaking.

Imagine.

You're lying there in bed. Sick and tired of the world. And how your mind sickens of why everything for you is going wrong. And just at that moment someone comes into your life to turn it all round. And you suddenly have a sense of gratitude for The One who has given you this gift of life. Although, your time is not surrounded by that texture or concept, it is, though, just one of the ways you can imagine yourself in and I, for one, speak out of experience, that it can happen.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

If yesterday is today, then what it is tomorrow?

Yes, I do feel a little sick. But I don't care.

I can't bare the thought of going back to the hospital for a check up (which I have on Sunday) that'll include a stay over possibly. I mean, seriously, their beds are really small.

And I wanted to do so many things in Ramadhan; but everytime I want to do it I either forget about it during the course of day or just postpone it to another time saying if it's not of a critical issue then it can surely wait.

So I need to get off my lazy butt and go to OmanTel to pay off my bill before they find another reason to cut me off the connection (they could do that, but I wouldn't care less). Plus I want to take advantage of the ADSL Ramadhan offer as soon as possible. But I have heard that they still take more than 2 weeks to get you sorted out, if that's the case, then why cram up so many people for the sour offer? I mean, we already know OmanTel is the worst service provider in the country, if not the world, so what else is it trying to prove?

And I seriously need to look into two more issues; work out & part time job. I can talk so much about them as if they were my long lost friends, but if I don't do something about it I am gonna end up actually liking the situation I have myself in - 'looking for a job'.

And for once, you can all be proud of me, he he, I didn't go to Starbucks. In fact, I was invited to a pre-birthday party of someone I have known for a few days and I have to say it was nice. Really. I saw some people I knew that I hadn't seen in a long time, plus I got to meet some new people, kinda like expanding the circle if you know what I mean. We promised each other that we'd probably get together after or during Eid holidays to have some sort of get together.

And not to make it all sound so badly at this end of the post; but I don't know what it is about me, but even though I love the winter season here in Oman (it's my favorite season, actually) but it gets me really thinking; real gloom-like nature; sometimes depressed. Does anyone have answer to that?

Allahuma anni kunt anwi el 9yam..

Someone Like You

The person inside me
Is in divide
Over what to decide
Live or let die

Passion or lust
The truth is a must
From winds to gust
I would still feel your touch

And when all is down
My only thought when I drown
Is how I could have spent my time with someone like you

No Matter What

I saw this woman who reminded me of you

But..

She didn't have your smile
She didn't have your eyes
She didn't have your sweet laugh
She couldn't comfort me the way you do

I am torn apart
By my heart
By what I should do
In order to get my life back

But everytime I try to think
Of someway to just make things better
My mind just brings
Me to the image of you

Tell me I am mad
Tell me I am crazy
Say what you want
But no matter, it's you who I think of, every part of the day

------------
update: I was really tired for those two days that I hardly left the house. But now I am a bit better. So thank you for your concern, people..

Throbbing with confusion..

What the Hell is going on with my life?

Its taking sort of an uphill stride all of a sudden.. in all measures

People I know... are disgraced by me

Places I go to are no longer the same

I'm just crumbling apart ..

I need to be alone

I'll take some time off blogging if you all don't mind..

'til then

'leave me alone'

these last two days have not been quite myself these past two days..

from having no appetite. no mood. and what with the 'bloody' incidents..

not like having no appetite but like not wanting to eat....but when i do eat i eat plenty

i'm having one of those 'leave me alone' phases again.. whereby i just don't get along with anyone...not even my friends

and that blood thing isn't really helping either even though i have an apppointment this sunday to see the doctor..

oh well - can't have everything you want in life, huh?

Bloomingdale's

I think I saw you smile today
I think I saw you glance my way
I think I saw you laugh, and gleeming away
Rosy cheeks, dimples, sway

And all this I was in my room
Thinking of only one thing; only you
Thinking how you listen to me when I babble away my gloom
Everytime I talk to you I feel as if I am about to swoon

Red rose for rosy cheeks
The smile that's on your face, the light that twinkles off your eyes
Mysterious as you are
The hope you hold in your heart
Shines off on me

the 2nd article

my 2nd article appears in the theweek this week, which you can get ahold of on Tuesday afternoon/night or on Wednesday, depending on where you get it from.

i hope you all like it this time, too. as it's an issue that's close to everyone's heart here in the Sultanate of Oman..

let me also know what constructive cristicism you may have on it..

How ironic

How ironic it is that the USA, the world's super power is helpless against natural disasters such as Hurrican Cathrina but is still going on with it's military occupation of Iraq?

How ironic is it that the USA, who is in desperate need of funds to help the victims of the natural calamaties that hit it yet still finds itself through director and actor Clint Eastwood to pump 100 million US Dollars to fund his next future 'Oscar-wannabe-movie'..

How ironic is that?

I could go on and on with the list..

the black & white cat

Someone came up to me and asked
What's the story with the black and white cat?
I told them if I did tell them, they would never understand
Nonetheless, they wanted to hear the tale from first to last

So I told them that this cat was lost
How I took it in from the winter gust
Fed it, put a home over it's head, and showed it love
They were gazing upon me, 'you would do such a thing to an animal that was lost?'

The black and white cat purred
Its skin was of black and white fur
Black witchcraft eyes, inside, beauty would surge

Pat, pat, hands would come down on it's head
Wouldn't like it, except from it's 'master', the one who took it in
Tale to be told, this was the tale of the white and black cat

A happy fortunate accident

I have a great nack with wires and techno stuff..lol

Sometimes I amaze myself..and I am not bragging about it.

Before I had gone off to Malaysia I had my room repainted and recarpeted with wooden tiles plus new curtains. It looks seriously relaxing (write that down! he he he).

So, anyway, getting more to the point of this post, we obviously had to move the furniture out of the room to allow the people to work and install the things properly. So, naturally, the wires for my TV, DVD player, PS2 and Game Cube all got mixed up in a jumble not to mention the antenna for the digital reciever.

So what did clever little me (little - did you hear that? - little! ha ha ha boy do I crack myself up or what?) do? I figured out which one's which - without an instruction booklet - and managed to get everything back into their rightful 'hole'.

This isn't the first time it's happened. Everytime a member of the family has a problem with their mobile phone or a certain question or concern about technical stuff - they come to me. They don't call me techno-freak for nothing, know. Just kidding about that last phrase. They don't actually.

I wish I knew more. But I tried out my luck when I started going to University before my College here in Oman. I tried to take up computer science. Unfortunately for me, not only was I homesick, but I was also being taught the course in the English language while our exams, essays, and study books were all in the Arabic language. Imagine the confusion. So I head back here to Oman and started all over.

I wouldn't I regret that that had happened to me. Actually, I would call it a happy fortunate accident that put me on sort of the right track.

After all; look where I am today..

'Screwed'

Tomorrow I have a dentist appointment...And it's not one of those lonnnnnnnngggg sieastas, alright?

This dentist would be so proud when he's done with me he'll probably retire from the profession because of the headache that I am about to provide him with - he he he

The only image conjured up in my mind right is the one of people drilling along a paved road and they're digging in like real real deep.. ouch!

Then - for all your enjoyment and pleasure of those who were concerned with my health - I have an appointment on this Sunday (no, not today) both with the doctor and a CT scan. And I get to taste that delicious, scrumpcious, beautiful and most tastey absolutlely loveable artificial milk substance (notice the sarcasim, yet?) that would be given to me to swallow prior to the CT scan for that day..

I had a faint spell today but I think that was because I had too many sweets (ie: Kunafa) the moment I woke up along with a huge glass of orange juice.. But I am fine, now.

In between, I am still trying to look for a part-time job or something that I could busy myself with. Hopefully, I would be able to find one, inshallah.
____________________

update: my column will be published this week in the theweek

Here I Am

Here I am
Underneath my desk
Hiding away from the world

Tempted by the world
Tempted by my lost soul
Tempted of losing you on the way

I cry
I whimper
I hold my heart in
With pain

The red rose
On the window petal
Has been
Flung away

Would you find me?
Would you try to see the person that I am in this life?

I hold my heart in
With pain
Moon shines
I cry my night away

inspired by the movie: Love Don't Cost A Thing

How much is that puppy in the window?

How sad does someone have to be to get another's attention? Or is it plainly that you're just not wanted in their presence?

Simply put:

people are keen on those who are not
there are those who forget and those whom cannot
the drive of the soul, the integral hole, the entire 'nut'
wish I had what I always wished for, but for it to be this; I do not

Somehow, Somewhere

There's a saying in the Arab world that goes by;

If you don't have anything nice to say, then just don't say it.

Until then..

I Still Say

Just as you thought that I had gone and vanished
I appear in your thoughts
Nothing to linger on in the present
The future, without you, is deminished

I lie awake in my sleep
I lie there, a body, just to breath
A smile from you
I would die for you
Your happiness is to my please

I'll still be here even when I am gone
I'll still love you, on and on
My heart would still beat for you
My soul would still yearn for you
What we have, will always be young

The red rose on your window petal
My heart pleads for you
My passion is true not a lie
And I still say, you're an Angel, in my eyes

48 hours later..

I hadn't posted yesterday because I was having a very bad day and today even in the morning. It started out with a big migrane that kept going on and off. Dunno why. And then later on in the evening it came back with my forhead bleeding again. Then that vanished around 4am in the morning as I went to sleep. I woke up today and was feeling pretty ok, and since I am not fasting because of my doctor's advice; I started to have my breakfast. After that, all of a sudden, the headache began again, and then I began to feel light-headed, too. I even barely got back upstairs to my room, and threw myself on the bed. Woke up at 6pm, and that was that.

Phew. Thank God that was over.

I've been thinking of applying for an ADSL connection, they say during this promotion - you get everything for free except the bill (too bad - he he he).

Plus I have been asking around for part time jobs, too. Heard of position, but it's physically demanding, something which my doctor doesn't want me to do, unfortunately. (I'm not a cissy - I'm more of a rebel)

Apart from that, I watched the movie Land of the Dead on DVD maybe two days ago, and it was pretty gruesome and that was cool. Someone told me that it's part of a series. If that's the case, then I am getting the full collection.

...Time stops for no one...

Bugger

Someone doesn't want me to leave town. And its been made obvious by so many situations. Some of which are too personal to detail them here and others which are so damn funny.

So basically I have not gone to Sohar nor will I go until further notice. And you'll be the first to know - believe me.

Too bad, I was actually looking forward to it.

But I had taken some quick changes into hand yesterday night to get the ball rolling. And I should be on my way to being busy again... phew.

Plus - the Ministry of Information has finally approved my book (took their own sweet time too!). So now it will be with the printers to be done and over with.

I have from here until April, 2006 to busy myself with something part-time or voluntary. Shouldn't be too hard. By April, I'll definitely be registered into that MBA program.

Good luck to all us

Just before the journey

So what is love, then?

I wish I knew. I do know it has partially something to do with how a person looks inside out. Whether they wish to be loved or just want to get laid. I also know that love deals with everything with such compassion that even if you don't feel the other person hugging you away, then you feel it from a distance just by talking to you. Their smile withers away the frustration from your brain cells. Headaches and all. Not exactly the romantic thing to say, but it's the truth.

Life is unfair - get over it

Love is never attracted at a scrub trying to imitate life's moments by making it look that he is busy. Life's chances are always out there. We have fly to them. Soar. Grow our own wings, until, one day, we reach the stars, the skies, and hopefully; Heaven.

It's fun to get messed up

Because you can always laugh about it later on. Trying to laugh on it means that you're letting go of the negative feeling. Trying to deal with the 'situation'.

Deal as you are dealt

Even though it's rough. When you have time to be better than the other person by 'giving the cheek'; do so. Otherwise, a piece of the mind is on the menu.

In the end..

My heart is a red rose on your window petal
Finding a life without you is a lost case
Only God knows how much I adore you
Forgive me; this is how my heart - without you - breaks

Sohar

This idea has been in my head for ages now because I was so damn bored with everything being repititive.

Tomorrow I leave for Sohar. Don't ask me why. I just wanna do it. And this time I will do it. Better than having to stay here in Muscat and do nothing at all and afterwards complain about it.

It'll be a nice drive. Don't know what time I'll be going but probably around 2pm onwards so when I am back in Muscat it would be around iftar time.

Maybe I'll take a few pics of my fellow bored inmates on the way (i.e.: goats in trucks)..

Wish me luck..

Hope I never come back..(ok, leave that to when I get married and stuff)

Stuck

Everything seems to be going down from here. Not easy down like nice and smooth. Uh-uh. Someone's turned the tables on me. And what's worse I am giving in to it. After being so cool and mellow for more than two weeks (I think). I am slipping again.

I'm trying to focus on the bright side of things here.

Let's see..

It's a new day (..yipee..)
I had a good sleep (...birthday whistles blowing with a yay!...)
Downloaded some old songs for The Corrs (What Can I Do & Forgiven, Not Forgotten)
Got me a Starbucks mug for free (now all I need is their apron)
And ... nothing else..

My God; life is so repititve.

Forever

What is a heart without it's soul?
What is a man's ultimate wish, dying young?
What is a mother's heart, without her only son?
What is forever, if there's no tomorrow?

What is my life without you?
When I could clearly just die, thinking of you
Constantly, repeatedly, saying your name
Heart pulsating, conciousness to regain

What is the death of a hero?
If not to conquer?
What is the life of passionate person?
Without the love he wishes for?

What is me, without you?
What is time, if not with you, but solitude?
What is lonliness? But a cancer
What are the nights and days I spend? But a disaster

Tell me why
Should I live my life
Without you?

If you keep on saying
That there are so many others
Better than you?

My eyes only seek you
And only you
They matter to me, not
You are my Angel, you are the truth

Red rose upon your window petal
I will wait here, for you, forever

Blood, Gore & Pain

For the last few days, I have been feeling quite depressed, even though that when I do go out I tend to forget whatever it is that is making me feel depressed.

Before that, also, I have had a condition whereby my nose bleeds heavily for no apparent reason accompanied by a throbbing sensation in my forehead, that, if touched, strikes utter pain.

I don't want to tell the doctor about this so I don't end up in the hospital again, nor do I want to tell my family about it either.

I just want to live a normal life.

Is that too much to ask for?

Saving is harder than it looks

Here's the short story version:

I called up the printers to know whether they had finished the job with my new book and the reply back was they had still not recieved a call from the Ministry of Information to acknowledge it. Talk about taking your own sweet time.

Then; I call up this college which I was supposed to register at for my Masters, and I was shocked over the phone to hear the news that registration had ceased a long time back and I distinctively remember that there was an advertisement for them in the local newspaper that said it wouldn't be until the 14th of October, 2005. What a bummer.

And since I had already passed out the chance to go with Gulf Air to take up the chance to continue my Masters. I would have to wait until next April (i.e.: 2006) to try my luck in registering, or find myself a part time job until then. Which doesn't have much of a prospect here in Oman.

This makes me seriously depressed..

For Eternity

If I could take my heart out
And send it to you
I would

If I could give up my last breath
Just so that you may live longer
I would

I broke the glass window, today
Thinking depressing thoughts, blood streaming out, like Mountain Dew

I wish
I wish
I wish I could talk to you
Make you listen
Make you see

How much is it
That it's you in my life, I need

I wish
I wish
I wish for you in my prayers
Asking God for your heart

I may live on
Without you
But the day I am in Heaven - I hope
Is the day I am, for eternity, with you

Why I'm a Virgo!

I saw this on WicKeD's blog and decided to sort of copy the method;

Do you know..?

Do you know..

... who I am when you go home?
... of me when you tuck yourself into bed and you're all alone?

Do you feel..

... your heart beat just thinking of who to reach out for?

Do you sense..

... the sea breeze blowing into your hair?
... the trees whispering in your name?

Do you tire of the world
As it goes by?
Do you find yourself all alone
Asking yourself 'why?'

Do you see the red rose
And wonderl just if
If someone were to just send it to you
Sealed with love's scent and the passion of a kiss?

Do you believe that time
Heals all wounds?
Do you believe that all this time..
..I've been thinking of you?

Do you know..?

Helping the helpless

I was in a confusion state today because I remembered a friend of mine who was hospitalized in the same ward as I was in a few months back and died of Lukiemia.

I was devestated back by the incident. And I still can't believe until this moment that he had passed away.

I want to take a look at different patients who deal with the issue of Blood Cancer like in the Royal Hospital or perhaps in SQU-H (Sultan Qaboos University - Hospital). Since they are the most properly equipped for such cases (as far as I know; if not, please correct me).

I want to be better informed about the cases here in Oman so I could possibly make some sort of essay about it and present it to the public to raise the awareness of the situation in the Sultanate.

People should know about such a thing. And moreso, they should be better equipped to tackle this issue if such a thing - God forbid - should ever happen to anyone they should know or perhaps their kin or friend or relative.

If anyone has any piece of information about this please contact me here or on my email: pennedthoughts@gmail.com.

Let's spread the message, people.

Help the helpless.

How sweet life would be

He would open his eyes to hers
A smile. A glimpse of those sunshine smiles.

Days go by and we are sad
Happy to do what we please; but with others, we just go mad

A red rose upon the window petal
A little note, too
The sweet scent of this freshly plucked rose
And a hand written 'I love you'

Do we feel sad because our dreams take us where we want to be?
And end up waking, sadly; to reality?

I'd rather make you happy and smile from all your heart
Than having to smile with your mask as you cry away in the lonely dark

Night comes and it comes to this
Goodnight. Lovers kiss.

May always dream of Heaven
Of the day that you have all your wishes come true
May you always feel blessed
This, my princess, is my heart as I lay it out for you

...Your Prince

RESPECT

There's a saying that's always been in my head and I tend to go by it word for word in my day to day life and it says; It is NICE to be IMPORTANT. But it is more IMPORTANT to be NICE.

Nice words. Too true.

But honestly speaking, how many people around you do you find that actually go by that with a similar idea?

My possible guess is none.

I go around in my rounds with my car and all I find is that it's just disrecpectful our society has been nowadays. Children and teens acting like the stuck up people they are because their parents are so & so and they own so & so companies and business or important positions in the Omani government (yes, the answer to your sudden question is: yes I do want to get into trouble for this post). Because let's face it. Their parents are in high positions because they realize the importance of such a thing and the responsibility needed to handle it. Key word being: responsible.

And what goes around comes around.

I sit today at a coffeeshop and someone I know who works there passes by me and I invite him over and we get chatting; then I catch a glimpse of some expatriate teenagers hanging around in a group with skimpy outfits. Skimpy. And I say to this guy how disrespectful they are knowing that Ramadhan is here and how they should show their respect to us natives so we can exchange the same to them and leave them be. And he's like why I should give a damn since they are free to make their own choice of what they want to wear. I told him that freedom doesn't mean to go beyong the limited boundaries especially in a Muslim ruled country. To change the subject I gave him an Arabic newspaper to read and asked him to do so. The guy literally threw the newspaper back into my arms and said "what am I going to do with this? I can't read that damn language".

My blood was boiling all day. I reported it to his big manager but asked him not to take any action on it because it was not in my intention to cut off someone's salary. Especially someone who doesn't understand the culture, my relegion nor the language behind it.

Just remember this where-ever you may go; respect is never given - it's earned.

------

this post has been edited due to a request from the coffeeshop's management

The lust of desire

Roses are red
Violets are blue
These few words I speak
Are created especially for you

You would dance through the fire
Of passion and love
The lust of desire
The grudge. The rush

Your pearly white blues
I drown into endlessly
The stars in the sky, the miniscure reflection of whats on the pool
I can only say that it draws me more near

I try to hold on to myself
Stop myself from letting go
Let the mind do the driving
Before I make an insane move

And there it was
It happened
Faster
Than a bolf of lightening

...the kiss
...the moonlight
...the red rose had been plucked
...the defenition of love has just been concieved

Hypocrites

I hate hypocrites. Period.

They're like nice and flattery all year round but when a time comes around like Ramadhan they're all of a sudden wearing a beard that looks like a car's airbag, saying astoghfor allah the moment some talks about something 'inappropriate'. And when all is said and done after the Holy month; their back to their old habits - googling women; switching on their bluetooth devices; putting their car stereos so loud that the entire neighborhood knows who it is with the windows down.

Seriously.

And even moreso when they go off to hotels and places that are near to bars that are closed down for the month to have a nice chat, listen to music, or some light singer (which is supposed to be prohibited, but a few hotels still provide it), and others just eat like there's no tomorrow.

I mean, if you want to be some kind of person - be that all your life. But don't give me two faces all of sudden because you think it's 'inappropriate'.

Want me to stop talking about this? Then I suggest you stop doing it.

Ramadhan Happenings

Well tomorrow has been anounced as the first day of Ramadhan. May we all be blessed by it and hope God would forgive all our past and current sins, inshallah.

I had been waiting for Ramadhan so that I would be able to fast and I was hoping that I would be able to, but my doctor has said that I won't be allowed to because I take day-to-day injections and need medicine just as much as I need to eat three meals a day. That's a total bummer.

But I am all hopes that next year I would be able to fast, inshallah. But this Ramadhan I will be joining a group of bloggers who will attempt to finish the Holy Qur'an during the holy month. I'm hoping it will have a positive affect on me, inshallah in many various ways. If you're interested in joining the group just click the button on the side bar titled 'we're reading. are you?'

Another thing that has just started with this month of forgiveness is the sight of adverts in the newspapers, magazines and gazettes on special offers from buffet extravaganzas to free minutes with your mobile operator. This completely ridicilous.

There should be a law against this type of advertisement that prohibits the use of Ramadhan as an advantage to get such offers and actually encouraging people to do the very things that we should be trying to contain ourselves from attempting.

Not that it affects me since I won't be fasting but what about the other 3 million people of Oman?

first step

Should I laugh or cry?

I don't know really..

sniff sniff sniff

I am in the theweek again with my debute article ...

Read about it in this week's issue of the theweek and let me know what you think

first impressions

a lot of people consider that first impressions are really damn important like when you meet someone you don't know, or when you go in for a job interview or something similar.

in most cases; that's true.

but otherwise, you're likely to establish a false first impression that would probably stick itself in your mind and at the end you make a total fool of yourself because you would find out that impression you made is so untrue.

why even bother to count impressions? why not just go on a day by day learning course about the other person? you're more likely to know things you wouldn't have had the chances to learn about if you had let the person go their way.

right?

thedecision

Over the past few days I have been jumping back and forth on the idea of me having to either do my MBA or get a job at Gulf Air.

And the case presented caused a lot of mental debate within me because on one hand I wanted so badly to have a job so I can start earning my own income instead of being a 27 year old shmuck who still lives at his parents home, taking monthly pocket money for his wage. And I still don't like the idea.

On the other hand, I also wanted to do my MBA so I can further develop my certification qualification from a B.A. (Hons) to an MBA in business administration. And I was already having a bad time with my past experience to stay in my previous jobs because everytime I started one I would fall sick and in the end resign to pursue health assurance. Not a pretty thing at all.

Some of you think that I should pursue the two together. Well, I would, but the thing is that either the MBA or a job would require full comittment from me and having either at the same time would cause an un-needed distraction and my energy to be droughted.

And since an MBA kind of gives you better options at choosing a career in the long term but a job is something that you could get kinda 'married to'. I have come to an important decision.

The pursuit of excellence is not merely a need but rather should be a habit.

That being said; I will be pursuing excellence through obtaining an MBA degree.

Anyone want to slap me?

what a day, what a day, what a day

I typed and I typed and I typed. I must have typed at least 150 words or more and erased the whole damn thing. It just didn't 'feel' right.

That damn article needs to be ready within a fortnight and I haven't a clue on what to write next about. Where's a muse when you need one, eh?

I also went to the ESO (Environmental Society Oman) presentation and it was quite interesting. I learnt that the Arabian Oryx and Turtles are not the only endangered species in Oman, but also the Houbara Bustard which lives in the southern region of the Sultanate. But you couldn't get clear data about the animal because there are no actual systematic data that are carried out. Therefore, you only rely on who hunts, breeds and possibly eats them on what they could inform you about this creature. Such a shame. I wonder if mankind was treated this way how would it feel? Makes think back to the old movie and its recent remake; Planet of the Apes.

My eyes are getting really burnt up by staring at this screen whilst I type, I best crash in since tomorrow (today actually, 'cause it's early early morning) I have a hospital check up. Although I think everything will turn out alright. Who knows, maybe this time I will have an Hgb level of 15 or more?

Some people I know need that blood. I sell 100 Rials to the pint. he he he he - kidding.

A Never Ending Quest

Yesterday night, after I had posted that really depressing post of mine on the blog and read NaBhAn's wonderful comment, I went off to dump all my depression on an old favorite movie of mine; The Moulin Rouge.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Freaky. Guy? Moulin Rouge? What gives?

I was seriously depressed because I had felt like I had gotten to a point of not getting anywhere and considered all options in front of me. And pulling out of the blog world - at that time - seemed like the only rational thing to do.

I have never felt so empty in my life. Never felt so alone.

And as I came back today, I saw my sister today with my neice (who is only 6 weeks old by the way), and I asked to hold her once and she agreed. And I am telling you, I don't know what came over me, I started singing to the kid and she was soon fast asleep. It's the first time that's ever happened with me. And my sisters were all like 'wowsers' - sort of. You know what I mean.

I felt really happy. Blessed, even.

I am trying as much as I can to live my life right now by trying to bring out my heart from the equation to balance it. In matter of speaking, I am trying to live compassionately, and not passionately. By mind and not impulse.

It's tough. And hard. But I am by no means a shallow person. I think deeply into things. And too often do I take hastey decisions that drive me to the wrong end. And I end up regretting it.

I realize that God has made every human being in this world we live in imperfect. But I find that in me there is more imperfection than all of the human kind which is why I demeane myself most of the time saying that I am not worthy of this or that.

I am a man driven by his hunger for passion
Unlike the many people of this world
To feel my heart beating
Isn't just what I need
Instead I must find my red rose

Flickville - Muscat, Oman

Hectic week beginning Saturday;

- Saturday; working on another article for the theweek. Evening; ESO lecture at Majan University College at 7pm.
- Sunday; hospital check-up.
- Monday; job interview with Gulf Air.
- Tuesday; check if my new book is ready - don't think it would be. My first article for theweek would be published.
- Wednesday; meeting up with a friend during 'lunch-time' for a chat and to get something. Evening; family gathering.
- Thursday; second family gathering during the week, though I doubt there will be one, to personal to explain.
Friday; kick back and relax.

Plus the fact that sometime during the week, there will be work going on to get my book's promotion in place, and time to work out, inshallah. Plus I would make my decision on whether to do a job or get my MBA.

Man. I need a rest just from proof-reading this.

Where's that Coke when you need it?

ps: Ramadhan Kareem in advance people. Don't be caught watching the TV, stuffing yourselves with food and googling at people during the month - do something productive.