Yesterday night, after I had posted that really depressing post of mine on the blog and read NaBhAn's wonderful comment, I went off to dump all my depression on an old favorite movie of mine; The Moulin Rouge.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Freaky. Guy? Moulin Rouge? What gives?
I was seriously depressed because I had felt like I had gotten to a point of not getting anywhere and considered all options in front of me. And pulling out of the blog world - at that time - seemed like the only rational thing to do.
I have never felt so empty in my life. Never felt so alone.
And as I came back today, I saw my sister today with my neice (who is only 6 weeks old by the way), and I asked to hold her once and she agreed. And I am telling you, I don't know what came over me, I started singing to the kid and she was soon fast asleep. It's the first time that's ever happened with me. And my sisters were all like 'wowsers' - sort of. You know what I mean.
I felt really happy. Blessed, even.
I am trying as much as I can to live my life right now by trying to bring out my heart from the equation to balance it. In matter of speaking, I am trying to live compassionately, and not passionately. By mind and not impulse.
It's tough. And hard. But I am by no means a shallow person. I think deeply into things. And too often do I take hastey decisions that drive me to the wrong end. And I end up regretting it.
I realize that God has made every human being in this world we live in imperfect. But I find that in me there is more imperfection than all of the human kind which is why I demeane myself most of the time saying that I am not worthy of this or that.
I am a man driven by his hunger for passion
Unlike the many people of this world
To feel my heart beating
Isn't just what I need
Instead I must find my red rose
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Destiny's Fool
Posted by Sleepless In Muscat at 00:16
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4 comments:
I realize that God has made every human being in this world we live in imperfect. But I find that in me there is more imperfection than all of the human kind which is why I demeane myself most of the time saying that I am not worthy of this or that.
Come on man, cheer up. Nothing is the most imperfect nor the most perfect in this world. Everybody has bad and good. Try to think of it by comparing others lives. People in Africa are suffering the most! no food no homes nothing..dying like insects...and at least we get homes foods to eat and so on. So our live are blessed comparing to many others!, I have the same feelings like yours sometime, and I write it down in my blog rarely. However, I always try to control my emotion and be patient. Patience is the key to happiness!.
Anyway I hope you be fine!..I hope I say what draws a smile on you!
What is wrong with Mouln Rouge? It is one of the very few DVDs that I actually bought. :P
x~nezitiC: I realize that, too. And believe me when I say that everyday I compare myself to someone who is in a worse situation in this world than I am. But sometimes you just give in to the feeling of loneliness and solitude that grasps you within. Don't you agree?
blue_chi: nothing's wrong with it. I think it's the best musical movie made in this century amongst others. But it's a pitty that there only a few of people who share that opinion, a lot of them being females (!!!)..
inshallah, Jawaher..inshallah ;o)
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