Thursday, July 12, 2007

something's gotta give

I've been thinking that the mood is probably set to write up my third and final poetry book. But it would be a collaboration between actual writing and poetry, and it would also come in the form of a story. A story, most probably based on a true event in my life.

This idea had come to me after I went through some of my latest poems and seen how the pattern is. And although there is no time frame for this project, I would my will to the test to busy my mind and get thinking about something positive in my life for a change.

The potential for us to aspire is within us, I suppose. It's just that, sometimes we lose our way and we need someone or something to bring us back on that path and keep steady our course.

I've given up on the fact that there is indeed someone who I would in my lifetime to help me get off my feet and feel a sense of confidence, mostly because of experience, no matter how small that is in the vast sea of possibilities.

I think, perhaps, that is the reason why I am so down lately; because I am unable to accomplish anything I set my mind at. Am I being punished. I'm told no, because God loves everyone and He would only test your patience by putting you in a predicament. But I ask myself a lot of the time, why can't I be successful, and happy, too? I long for settlement just as much as a baby girl wants a barbie doll since the age of 5 years old.

But I kid no one when it is the very reason why I am so unhappy and that I cannot achieve what I want in life. Even with folks saying stuff life 'you can do anything as long as you have your mind set on it'. But, alas, actions speak louder than words. And who better to see otherwise than time itself.

So why bother at all?

Why not just give up and give it all away?

Nothing in life is ever free. Sure. Ok.

But something's gotta give, right?